It Was A Matter Of Time: ‘Toddlers And Tiaras’ Mom Dresses Daughter Up Like Lady Gaga

Wednesday, January 4 by
This video is like a portal into my dark dreams.  

First of all, I would like to go on record as saying I think that ALL parents, not just pageant moms, should dress their children, boys and girls alike, as Lady Gaga. I think it would make meeting people’s kids much more interesting.

“Which one is your son?”

“Over there on the see-saw, in the flank steak negligee, wrapped in caution tape.”

“I would like to get to know him better.”

That said, I’m not entirely sure that dressing your child as Lil’ Lady Gaga is the right strategy in winning a beauty pageant. I don’t think she’s the archetype of beauty most judges are looking for. Nonetheless, tonight’s Toddlers and Tiaras features Laci, a girl doomed from the start with that name, dressed up as the pop sensation, even emerging from a mirrored egg for her entrance.

However, dressing your child up as some sort of asexual alien-woman then having her emerge from a phallic egg doesn’t go off without a hitch, shockingly. Lil’ Laci spills out of the egg (video here from Huffington Post), and the audience would have been laughing if only they had been aware of how ridiculous this whole thing is.

In case this recap of events didn’t lead you to immediately look up the time and channel on which this spectacle may be witnessed, it’s tonight, on TLC, and 10 PM EST. See ya there.

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