"Hey, look! A celebrity said something stupid on Twitter! Let's make a big deal about it!"

And so it goes. This time, the celebrity in question is Russell Crowe, and the tweets in question have to do with circumcision. Of all the things I thought I might be writing about today, The Gladiator's views on foreskin removal were near the bottom of the list. But yet, here we are. And to make matters worse, the tweets have resulted in charges of anti-Semitism. It's days like this I wish that whole rapture thing had panned out.

So, what's all the hubbub? It all started when an expecting father asked Crowe (via Twitter) if he should have his son circumcised. Because honestly, when it comes to the matter of baby dicks, who else are you going to ask? I won't post the entire rant, but Crowe was quick to reply.

  • Circumcision is barbaric and stupid. Who are you to correct nature?

  • Is it real that God requires a donation of foreskin? Babies are perfect.

  • Last of it, if you feel it is your right to cut things off your babies please unfollow and f**k off; I’ll take attentive parenting over barbarism.

So, in case you're not adept at picking up on subtlety, Russell Crowe does not like circumcision. But the real problems started when Crowe tweeted to the Bear Jew himself, Eli Roth.

  • many jewish friends, I love my Jewish friends, I love the apples and the honey and the funny little hats but stop cutting yr babies @eliroth

And you can imagine where it went from there. The Hollywood Reporter labeled the remarks as anti-Semitic, the twitterverse was up in arms, and the statue of Anne Frank in Amsterdam shed a single tear.

Now, Crowe's comments are many things: obnoxious, stupid, pompous. But they are by no stretch anti-Semitic. Yes, the "little hats" comment was somewhat condescending, but it's hardly a matter for the ADL. Eli Roth himself said as much, chastising the Hollywood Reporter for even suggesting Crowe was a bigot, and claiming that the hat comment was a joke between friends.

The Bear Jew is right (he's always right, damn it). Russell Crowe is not an anti-Semite. However, he's also not terribly bright. He's entitled to his opinion, but what in the world made him think that going on a Twitter rant about baby foreskin was a good idea? Does the man who starred in Virtuosity bring a unique take on the matter to the table? And why, oh why, did he make the "little hats" comment in the first place? Yes, I believe he was making a joke to his friend, but why broadcast such a joke to the entire Internet? Eli Roth knows you're kidding. Eli the militant Jewish man with a chip on his shoulder might not. You're just asking for trouble.

But of all the stupidity on display, the following Tweet takes the cake. In response someone who commented on the supposed scientifically proven benefits of circumcision, Crowe had this to say...

  • @Hodanismail My friend, “human” science has caused too much damage, don’t be a moron

I don't even know where to begin. First of all, why is "human" in quotes? Human as opposed to what? Elven science? Christian Science? What the hell is he talking about.

Second, why the hell is he bitching about science? Granted, not everything science has brought us has been good (the Industrial Revolution lead to pollution, splitting the atom lead to nuclear war, the ability to record music lead to the Black Eyed Peas, etc.). But considering Russell Crowe is probably alive today because of vaccines, travels around the world on private jets, and works in a field that is completely dependent on technology, I find it baffling that he feels the need to beat up on science. Perhaps instead of being a rich and famous movie star in a highly developed civilization, he'd be more at home wearing animal skins while squatting in his own shit, and desperately searching for food to bring back to his cave before the sun god goes away for the night?

Yes, while Russell Crowe might not be an anti-Semite, it is still very possible that he's an idiot.