IF MOVIE POSTERS USED BAD REVIEWS

Wednesday, August 5 by

Don’t you hate when you’re really revved up to see a movie based off its awesome trailer only to find that the best part of the movie IS the trailer? That’s because the studio didn’t allow the press to review the movie in advance. They know they have a crappy product and any bad reviews could hurt their opening weekend box office.

Nowadays, early buzz is as important to a film as the star whose name appears above the title. A bad review could snowball into bad word of mouth and then Twitter gets a hold of it and the opening weekend is shot. Have a look at the recent releases of Funny People and Bruno. Both were anticipating to stack dollars into the stratosphere but due to early complaints about issues with length and penises (I feel ya) the films underperformed (that’s how I roll).

Paramount has supposedly decided to handpick the websites and critics who would be allowed to review the upcoming G.I. Joe: The Rise Of Cobra in order to avoid any caustic write-ups. We thought it would be refreshing if the studios were just honest for a change and wore their bad reviews like a badge of honor. Like when Billy Madison got all the kids to piss their pants.

Take a look below at our gallery from an alternate universe… where COMPLETELY REAL negative reviews are the hallmark of movie posters:

 

 

 

 

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