Christmas came early this year, folks.

Sure, this only pertains to entertainment in the most tangential manner possible (reality television/washed-up orange wrestlers), but when two people as ridiculous as Linda and Hulk Hogan start feuding over a story this stupid, it becomes a page one item.

The Hulkamaniacster is suing his ex-wife for alleging that he had a homosexual relationship with fellow wrestler, Brutus Beefcake. Beefcake's real name is unimportant.

The blonde wrestler is denying the allegations, and seems to be taking it all in stride, offering (via The Sydney Morning Herald):

"After the four-year crazy divorce I thought I'd heard everything I could hear in the courtroom," he said.

"Then, all of a sudden she says I abused her, that I was violent. She told everybody that I was a homosexual."

"If any of that was true, I would admit it, and [if] I was a homosexual I would embrace it."

Let's get something straight: If Hulk didn't have a gay affair with a guy named Brutus Beefcake, someone did. Guys named Brutus Beefcake don't just go around not having gay affairs with men.