Summer Movie Guide 2011

Hey Spielberg, Enough With The Aliens Already

Tuesday, August 2 by
 

I know a lot of you are going to think I did this article just to get the chance to say the word “Spielbergian” again.  Now, while it is true that I love that word with all of my heart and soul, there is another reason here.  Dear Mr. Spielberg, enough with the aliens already.

I just got the opportunity to interview him at Comic-Con and it was a dream come true.  Well, I only got to ask one question, but still.  This man has been part of so many films I love.  I mean, he’s a genius.  He’s a big part of my childhood.  And…AND…I actually loved Cowboys & Aliens.  I think it was a bad idea to premiere it at Comic Con when almost every single reviewer was exhausted/hungover/brain dead.  I think it might have been over-exposed, which builds up expectations to a fever pitch.  Nothing could possibly live up to the hype.  I thought it was fun.  I thought the cast was amazing.  I had an absolute blast watching it.  I just think we have a bit of alien fatigue.

Get The Alien Cribs Tour In 'Cowboys & Aliens' Trailer

Look, our economy is about to collapse…or not.  I don’t want to go into politics, but let’s just say that things are not well.  People are losing jobs left and right.  It totally makes sense that post-apocalyptic dramas are popular.  Zombies, destruction, Smurfs…oops!  Sorry.  Smurfs are not part of the apocalypse.  They’re just annoying.  But I think we all know what would happen if aliens attacked now.  We’d find a way to do terrible things to them, a la District 9…or we’d be dead.  Didn’t Stephen Hawking just tell us this?  We wouldn’t be friends.  We wouldn’t all come together to help each other.  We’d destroy them or they’d destroy us.

We’re not innocent enough to believe in the goodness of the world anymore.  Not when profit or death is involved.  It’s why Super 8 was one of the only alien films this year that worked.  It played on the nostalgia of a more innocent time.  (Wrote a little piece on it.  Take a look.)  But there are only so many ways to do aliens in a film.  Steven is an expert on all things alien (he even gave Jon Favreau some tips on the alien design for Cowboys & Aliens), but even the great man himself can give us too much of a good thing.  This year alone, he’s got Super 8, Cowboys & Aliens Transformers: Dark of the Moon, and the TV show, Falling Skies.  There are other topics!  And Steven, haven’t you done enough with aliens?  Robot aliens, aliens in mech suits, aliens mining for gold, aliens whose ship building blocks look like little silver Rubik’s cubes…I still haven’t forgiven him for the aliens at the end of Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull.  And all of this in addition to all the non-Spielberg alien films out recently.  Battle: Los Angeles Paul I Am Number Four, Mars Needs Momsthe list goes on.

New 'Tintin' Trailer Proves Mo-Cap Doesn't Have To Suck

Spielberg is an icon.  I admire that he’s doing something different with Tintin.  I mean, it still looks creepy and they obviously haven’t solved the uncanny valley thing with the eyes.  And, of course, American audiences probably won’t go see it, but at least he’s doing everything he can to back it.  Just please give the little green men a rest.  For a little while at least.  Well, after Men In Black III.  And if you put aliens in the next Indy film…I’ll…I’ll steal his hat.

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COMMENTS

  1. August 2, 2011 11:06 am

    Rad-Balls

    Spielberg is a film icon who obviously has a very deep fascination with aliens and UFOs. I personally like his alien films and hope he continuest to make them. Some believe Spielberg to be the government’s go-to guy in what is thought to be a secret programme to acclimatise the public to the reality of extraterrestrials through entertainment media. Did I just blow your mind?  


  2. August 2, 2011 11:06 am

    Pendy2323

    Yeah…and enough with the young boys and all that Peter Pan B.S., boy toy Shia LeBeaeiou, remember what Crispin Glover said, wink wink. Just enough with the young boys already.


  3. August 2, 2011 11:06 am

    Poop

    you did not. you did however break my crazy meter