Habitat for Supermanity Is the Worst Charity of All Time

Friday, September 5 by

Maybe I’m not the sentimental type or maybe I just don’t share the unending, fiery love for Superman that some people seem to have. Or maybe I just see how absolutely ridiculous it is for a legitimate charity to try and guilt people into donating money that will be put toward saving the house in which Superman was invented. Sorry Ronald McDonald, your house full of sick kids and their families doesn’t have enough comic book history to get my money. [Warning: Ranting ahead]

Surf on over to oridnarypeoplechangetheworld.com and you’ll find that this is for real. The charity itself has several different aspects, but their main focus at the moment seems to be saving the house where Jerry Siegel created Superman. Reading through the story is either pathetic or hilarous. I haven’t quite figured it out yet. Here are some highlights to let you decide.

"The house where Google was created is saved. The farm where Hewlett Packard was founded is preserved. And Richard Nixon’s house is a museum. But the house where Superman — one of the world’s most recognized heroes — was created? It’s a wreck."
I’m pretty sure that the guys from Google and HP didn’t have to go begging on the internet for money to save their houses. And saving the president’s house makes at least some sense in terms of getting money from the government. Maybe if Superman had more political aspirations instead of parading around in tights all the time, he would’ve gotten a museum too.

"As the owner told me, “They won’t even give us a plaque. Not even a plaque to say, ‘This is where Superman was created.’"
Hop on down to Things Remembered a the mall–it’s right next to one of the seven pretzel stands–and they’ll print you up a real nice plaque in an hour. I don’t see why they expect the city of Cleveland to go giving them one. If they did it should say, "Thanks, old people, for living in a house that another guy coincidentally lived in at one point. Oh, and way to go taking terrible care of it so it’s falling down. Seriously, thanks."

"If we don’t save this place soon, the house will soon go the way of Superman artist Joe Shuster’s, which was torn down."
If people tear it down and then live in it, then that’s fine by me. With unemployment and foreclosure rates what they are, I think a nice living space for some fine Clevelanders would be an improvement. Unless of course the genius of Superman is trapped somewhere in the asbestos-filled insulation. Then by all means, let’s breath it in deep.

"And this charitable 501(c)(3) is dedicated to making sure the Siegel House will be saved, and restored, and there so you can take your kids one day."
I have a problem with their usage of the word charitable. To me, that word means giving to someone that will use the money to make people’s lives better. This, in fact will make lives worse, specifically the lives of the children who are dragged by their nerdy ass dad on a vacation to Cleveland to see the boring room where some kid sat and thought of something one time. Thanks, dad. That’s way better than Six Flags.

"Cleveland won’t pay. The big corporations won’t pay. They’re the ones who ignored it. But like the site says, I believe ordinary people change the world. I believe that we — the true fans — can do what Cleveland and everyone else couldn’t."
The government wastes money on stupid crap all the time, but how would you honestly feel if your tax money was being put toward putting new siding on the house where Superman was created? Most of us have houses that could use new siding and an assload of other improvements, so unless this rich, pop culture history is going to lower my heating bill by 50 dollars a month, we can just leave it to some rich guy to buy the thing and be done with this whole mess. The average home price in Cleveland is about $135k. There are rich guys who spend that on blow in a weekend. Just get one of them to buy it and leave the rest of us to have our huge foreclosure boom and our 6%+ unemployment rate.

Other famous houses that need saving:

This is the house where Tarantino wrote the rape scene from Pulp Fiction. The plumbing is a little shoddy and the window in the kitchen has a tear in the screen. Tragic.

This is the house where the other chick from the ass-to-ass scene from Requiem for a Dream grew up. There’s massive termite damage.

This fine dwelling is where the kid from Malcolm in the Middle jacked off for the first time. There’s nothing really wrong with it, but that trim and those shutters really just don’t go with the rest of the decor. Heartbreaking.

If you’re as saddened by all of these tragedies at I am, please take the money you would like to donate and put it right into the toilet. It’ll get where it’s going. Baby Jesus thanks you.

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