Google knows everything. In fact, Google is so smart, it can actually answer your question before you’ve asked it by examining previous questions asked by millions of other people. The future is now! It’s a future ruled by machines, but a future none the less!
We decided to utilize this feature to find out what Google (and more importantly, what Internet users) really want to know about their favorite celebrities. The results were somewhat predictable, but disturbing all the same. We weeded out the repetitive answers, as it tuns out every celebrity alive is suspected of being either gay or Jewish. We also left out Richard Gere, because the man has been through enough of this shit.
At any rate, here are the results of our celebrity Google search experiment.
That stuck up bitch!
I guess he figured out “what’s in the box.”
I always knew Funny Farm would come back to haunt him.
We didn’t even have to type “is” to figure out what people are really looking for.
That explains the lack of children. Poor Mavis.
Google thinks Dunham is both “racist” and “a racist.” That’s super racist! (Get over it, Google, he’s a ventriloquist.)
Speaking of racism, Kanye West is Tracy Jordan? I guess they all look alike to you, eh Google? You make me sick.
I wish just one of these things were true.
I can’t think of a more humorless place than Tyler Perry Island.