Google Talks Smack About Celebrities

Thursday, January 13 by

Google knows everything. In fact, Google is so smart, it can actually answer your question before you’ve asked it by examining previous questions asked by millions of other people. The future is now! It’s a future ruled by machines, but a future none the less!

We decided to utilize this feature to find out what Google (and more importantly, what Internet users) really want to know about their favorite celebrities. The results were somewhat predictable, but disturbing all the same. We weeded out the repetitive answers, as it tuns out every celebrity alive is suspected of being either gay or Jewish. We also left out Richard Gere, because the man has been through enough of this shit.

At any rate, here are the results of our celebrity Google search experiment.

Angelina Jolie
That stuck up bitch!

Brad Pitt
I guess he figured out “what’s in the box.”

Chevy Chase
I always knew Funny Farm would come back to haunt him.

Christina Hendricks
We didn’t even have to type “is” to figure out what people are really looking for.

Jay Leno
That explains the lack of children. Poor Mavis.

Jeff Dunham
Google thinks Dunham is both “racist” and “a racist.” That’s super racist! (Get over it, Google, he’s a ventriloquist.)

Kanye West
Speaking of racism, Kanye West is Tracy Jordan? I guess they all look alike to you, eh Google? You make me sick.

Lady Gaga
I wish just one of these things were true.

Tyler Perry
I can’t think of a more humorless place than Tyler Perry Island.

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  1. January 13, 2011 4:57 pm


    I got Google is skynet
    What were you saying about the future and, uh, machines?

  2. January 13, 2011 4:57 pm


    LOL, well we all know Google will rule the world one day!

  3. January 13, 2011 4:57 pm


    This is too awesome!

  4. January 13, 2011 4:57 pm

    Home Server Land


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