George Lucas Buying Dead Celebrities

Monday, December 6 by

Watch your back, Leslie Nielsen! It’s being reported that George Lucas is quietly and secretly buying the film rights to dead Hollywood stars. His goal? Awesome pornos. Something undoubtedly terrible. Actor/director Mel Smith has revealed Lucas’s nefarious plot:

“He’s been buying up the film rights to dead movie stars in the hope of using computer trickery to put them all together in a movie, so you’d have Orson Welles and Barbara Stanwyck appear alongside today’s stars.’ Whether Lucas’ attempt to superimpose the golden-era stars on to today’s screens is doomed to failure or not, Smith will be too busy to be part of it.”

This actually explains a lot. Much like when Senator Palpatine revealed himself to be the Sith Lord Darth Sidious, the shadowy mastermind behind the Hollywood Star Whackers is none other than George Lucas. Think about it. A star dies. Lucas buys their rights. Recreates them via CG for some shitty movie. Zemeckis then has to buy him a steak. He’s gone mad with power, and wants to make the absolute worst, unnecessary film of all time. Question is, why would he want to break his own record? (Daily Mail)

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COMMENTS

  1. December 6, 2010 11:39 am

    TinyDickman

    Do people need anymore proof that he is fucking evil?

    Help to end world hunger! Cut George Lucas’ neck off!