Everything You’ve Heard About An Upcoming Indiana Jones Is A Filthy Lie

Saturday, March 29 by
Anyone who reaches out to cover that beautiful head with a hat will find themselves pulling back a bloody stump.  

Sometimes, I wake up in the middle of the night, drenched in sweat, so desperate for Indiana Jones film developments that I’ll believe anything. Like that Bradley Cooper is going to don the fedora next (even though I speak for everyone when I say fedoras are totally done-zo.) Or that Frank Darabont, the guy who was involved with The Walking Dead for about fifteen minutes, is writing a script.

Complete and utter horseshit. All of it. The former has been refuted by Frank Marshall, who has produced all four of the earlier Indiana Jones films.

So HE’S the son of a bitch who snagged the “LeDoctor” Twitter handle out from under me. See you in hell, Marshall.

Then Darabont said to Ain’t It Cool News, “I have not pitched an idea for a proposed Indiana Jones movie, nor has anybody approached me with such an idea. The inaccurate report on Latino Review was the first I’d heard of it.”

But Darabont didn’t use Twitter to make the announcement, so it might as well have been made by a town cryer with a kerosene lamp on a cobblestone street. Luddite.

So let’s all just chill out and keep bitching about Crystal Skull until this sorts itself out.

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