Enough With Nic Cage Already, Internet

Friday, January 21 by

Nic Cage has been the subject of countless Internet memes, and it’s easy to see why. Although he’s a very talented actor, he often ends up in roles that are what the French call “le Shitty.” Part of this is due to his nature. As Roger Ebert says of Cage, “He’s daring and fearless in his choice of roles, and unafraid to crawl out on a limb, saw it off and remain suspended in air.” However, at the present time, Cage’s anything goes approach might have more to do with the fact that he pissed away a fortune, and is in a desperate pinch for cash. Fearlessness explains Adaptation and Raising Arizona. As for Season of the Witch, which currently boasts a 4% favorable rating on Rotten Tomatoes.com; not so much.

When an actor does that many shitty movies, it lends itself to Internet mockery. After all, who could watch this clip from The Wicker Man remake without laughing…

I have never seen the film, so I can’t be sure. But I’d like to imagine that a scene where a man is tortured by bees might not be so comical within the overall context of the film. Regardless of the particular scene’s merit, it’s just one of countless examples. For example, who can forget “My hair is a bird”….

Or the entire site dedicated to depicting Nic Cage as everyone

But on Monday, I was subjected to two Nic Cage montage videos: The Evolution of Nic Cage’s Hair and The Nic Cage Song.

Neither video was that bad, but they were both a far cry from Nicholas Cage Losing His Shit. In fact, it almost seems as if the Cage memes are starting to jump the shark. Seeing two on the same day caused me to stop and wonder what the hell is going on? What is the Internet’s sick obsession with Nic Cage? Why him? Why now? Why not someone else? Surely there are other actors who are more deserving of our collective scorn. I know that not all of these videos and memes are necessarily negative, but even so, it’s beginning to feel like a pile on. Why the obsession?

Why not Gary Busey? He’s clearly more insane than Nic. Sure, Gary gets ripped on all the time, but not with the same intensity and dedication. What about Randy Quiad? That crazy bastard is in Canada hiding from the “Hollywood Star Whackers.” That’s 100% crazier than anything that Nic Cage has ever done, and Cage once at a live cockroach! What about Charlie Sheen? When he’s not spouting off September 11th conspiracy theories, he’s locking hookers in hotel bathrooms and having coke orgies with porn stars in Vegas. Surely that warrants a montage or two.

The only explanation I can come up with is that despite all the mockery, deep down, we all love Nic Cage. While many actors come and go, Nic Cage is there year after year churning out movie after movie. Sure, a lot of his films are shit, but deep down we take comfort in knowing he’s out there. He’s a constant in our ever changing lives. He’s a friend, a brother, and perhaps to some, a secret lover. Plus, he used to do shoorms with his cat.

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