Earthquakes And Hurricanes: Hollywood’s Guide To Surviving Natural Disasters

Tuesday, August 23 by
 

Between this East Coast Earthquake and the impending Hurricane Irene, nature is trying to kill us, and we’ve got to go out there and house it before it f*cks up our sh*t. It is advised that you review the films below. What you learn might just save your life.

Note: Just moments ago, my life flashed before my eyes as the skyscraper where they pay me bounced like a Lowrider beneath me. “Have I lived a full life?,” I thought as I raced down the evacuation stairwell. “Have I blogged enough?” In the end, I only ended up with tired legs. Still, now it’s personal.

The Perfect Storm

Luckily, these are rare, but a Perfect Storm is what happens when an extratropical nor-easter envelopes a small hurricane and then transforms itself into a small hurricane within another extratropical storm. It then blacks out the sky and whips the sea around like Willow Smith‘s hair. It is perhaps nature’s most powerfu weapon.

Hurricane

When a category 5 hurricane threatens the Gulf Coast of the United States, all of our favorite television stars of the 60′s and 70′s find themselves in jeopardy. If you want to survive a hurricane of this magnitude, the smartest thing to do is evacuate. Otherwise, board up your windows and head to storm shelter below ground. And don’t go to any Hurricane parties being thrown by that guy from Gomer Pyle.

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