Someone here at Screenjunkies got kind of jacked up over seeing Crank: High Voltage this past weekend.  So much so, that they took it upon themselves to replace our intern’s heart with an intricately fashioned artificial one:

After we got over our initial shock and disgust of this heinous act, we realized the whole thing was kind of amusing.  I mean, it happened to an intern, someone put on this earth to be abused for school credit.  We decided to document his ticking-clock quest for revenge and the retrieval of his human heart before he would presumably drop dead on the office floor, where he would then be whisked away to the nearest dumpster.  His story is one of bravery and menial tasks that doesn’t end until he says it does.  He’s on a mission.  A mission to survive.  Just like Chev Chelios.