It’s my first time at Comic-Con. I didn’t know what to expect except madness, and madness is what I got. And David Hasselhoff singing on a bus surrounded by half-naked women, but we’ll get to that later. Thursday proved to be a test of the mind, feet, and senses. I saw some terrific panels, cruised the main floor, and even attended a party where Sly Stallone was given an award that looked like a bomb. It was supposed to signify his contribution to the action movie genre, but made him look like an Italian who was at his wits end with the Hard Rock Hotel.
I started the day bright and early waiting in line for the Tron Legacy panel. Sally from A Nightmare Before Christmas was also there.
Once in the Tron panel, Patton Oswalt, returning as moderator from last year, came out and introduced the cast and crew. Jeff Bridges, Olivia Wilde, Garrett Hedlund, Michael Sheen, Bruce Boxleitner, Director Joseph Kosinski, among others were there. I’ll have the video up for you tomorrow, but here are some blurry pics in the meantime.
Like most panels at Comic-Con, the Tron panel wasn’t much more than the cast and crew telling you to see the movie, how awesome it’s going to be, and how everyone loved working with everyone else. The reason to go see these panels is because of the exclusive footage. The very footage that attendees aren’t allowed to record and share. I was privy to a five minute scene that showed Sam Flynn abducted and then placed int the Master Control Program. It looked fairly awesome and I know the finished product will look even better. Unfortunately it ended right when Sam was about to kick some ass in the arena. We then got to check out the new trailer, which you can see here.
After the Tron panel ended, they played a video with Johnny Depp dressed as Jack Sparrow that basically reminded everyone that Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides is coming out next summer.
Then came a big announcement. Guillermo de Toro wobbled out and told the crowd that he’s remaking Disney’s Haunted Mansion sans Eddie Murphy. It’s going to be scary, not family-friendly, unfunny bullsh*t. Little kids might crap their tighty-whities. Check out the announcement:
After a delicious lunch (I had the turkey club) with Noah from the Break Horror Channel and Vince from FilmDrunk (check out Vince’s first day HERE), we were all walking back to the convention center when David Hasselhoff appeared out of nowhere singing "Hooked on a Feeling" atop a double-decker bus. Only at Comic-Con, right?! He was surrounded by hot chicks in tight, red outfits. Threats must have been made in Deutsch to get such a display sanctioned. I wasn’t quick enough with the FlipCam because I was getting money from the ATM, but luckily Vince can always sense when The Hoff is approaching and had his camera at the ready.
After The Hoff puttered back to whatever bottle he emerged from, we perused the convention floor. It’s massive a space with more booths set up than any human would care to or would be able to visit in one go-around. Some are too hokey, some are too nerdy, and the weird, sexual stuff is stationed in the back corner. Here are some of the highlights:
Tron lightcycle. I want to go to there.
The Walking Dead display. Bloody. Creepy. Perfect.
Hot chicks play with Vince’s entrails.
Mousepad with boob wrist support. Say "no" to carpal tunnel.
Fleshlights. And they thought they could hide them from me…
I’m bured alive! But really just standing upright in a closet.
Stan Lee signs autographs at the Thor display. Meh. He always eats at a deli by my office.
Next up was the "Dexter" panel.
We saw a short teaser that gave away nothing, followed by a panel with Manny Coto, Sara Colleton, Chip Johannessen, John Goldwyn, James Remar, Jennifer Carpenter, and Michael C. Hall, who all gave away nothing. They obviously wouldn’t divulge who killed Rita, and literally wouldn’t let anything slip regarding ho Dexter will balance raising three kids and continuing to murder people. The biggest news that I took away from the panel is that John Lithgow has a kids album called "Singing in the Bathtub." The writers say it’s a coincidence, but I’m certain that Lithgow, through the use of mind control, influenced their arrival at last season’s climax.
Finally, the night ended at a party for The Expendables at The Hard Rock Hotel hosted by IGN. The booze was free and the foods was hand passed. It doesn’t take much more than that for me to show up somewhere. The DJ spun while Noah and I enjoyed pastries stuffed with mushroom stuff on a nearby sofa. Then it was award time. Dolph Lundgren, Terry Crews, Randy Couture, and Steve Austin presented an inert bomb to Sylvester Stallone for his action moviestar achievements. I’ll put a video up tomorrow, but here’s a barely visable pic for now.
It was cool to watch all those guys on stage together, but uncool that a fight didn’ break out. I wanted to see the San Diego Hard Rock Hotel go down in infamy tonight for awesomeness. I suppose I could have instigated it, but I was sleepy.