Chuck Norris And Jean-Claude Van Damme To Join ‘Expendables 2′ Because Screw You

Wednesday, September 14 by
Just out of frame, Chuck Norris is strangling a Russian with his left hand.  

Sylvester Stallone continues to pull in action-star talent onto the set of The Expendables 2. Today, he confirmed that Jean-Claude Van Damme (heretofore referred to as “The Muscles from Brussels”) and Chuck “Nicknames Are for Pussies” Norris will be joining the cast that further includes Sly, Arnold Schwarzenegger, Jason Statham, Bruce Willis, Jet Li, Mickey Rourke, and Dolph Lundgren.

According to Stallone, the sequel will feature a big showdown between himself and The Muscles from Brussels. He went on to say that he thinks Nic Cage is on board, while John Travolta‘s involvement is “possible.”

The film is set for release August 17th, 2012, so there’s plenty of time to sign up Johnny Weismuller and John Wayne as well.

Oh. Apparently those guys have been dead for 27 and 32 years, respectively. Huh. Then let’s get Michael Dudikoff.