In a move that can best be described as "predictable," Two and a Half Men creator has decided to kill off Charlie Sheen's not-so-fictional character Charlie Harper for the next season of the CBS sitcom.

TMZ reports that those someone close to the show (they should really just admit it's Jon Cryer) has divulged that Sheen's character will die early in the next season, making way for Ashton Kutcher's character to slide right into the show's vacant bowling shirts and cargo pants.

The million-dollar questions that remains, however, is how Charlie "Harper" will meet his maker. It's a safe bet that it won't be a dignified end, based on the acrimony that resulted from Sheen's unexpected (sort of) booting late last season. My guess is a David Carradine-type shuffling of the mortal coil, but let's not rule out a Vespa accident or SuperHerpes.