BREAKING NEWS: Clint Eastwood Is Old

Wednesday, December 17 by

"You can’t stop everything from happening," Eastwood says. "But we’ve gotten to a point where we’re certainly trying. If a car doesn’t have 400 air bags in it, then it’s no good."  These, among other things, were recently growled by the famous tough guy. Here are some more reasons why Eastwood believes that America is filled with total pussies.

In an interview appearing in the January edition of Esquire, Clint recalls his days as a shy, depression era child fighting bullies for scraps of food and relying on his own grit to get by. He wants to know what this modern fascination is with talking things over when we could all just punch each other until the problem is solved. He says the root of the problem is that people spend too much time worrying about the meaning of life, sitting around pondering things that just don’t matter. He also notes that he doesn’t understand body piercing, that he wants his tapioca pudding, and that rock music is TOO loud. Huumph.

Here’s the thing. I don’t doubt that Eastwood had a hard time growing up, as did plenty of people that can manage to make it to his age. But he gave up his ‘tough guy hustling for food pass’ the first time he got a fat check from Hollywood. That would have been sometime in the early 60’s, thus giving him almost fifty years in the industry. He hasn’t been working a blast furnace at a steel mill in the Lehigh Valley for the past half century. He was being coddled by an industry that pays you a shit load of money to make mediocre things, that caters to all your needs, and provides you with a daily influx of ego roids to keep you afloat.

If it’s another thing I’ve noticed having worked in Hollywood, it’s that there is a direct relationship between the time you spend within the industry and your level of crazy. Here’s a graph to express this phenomenon:

Its one of the reasons that Child Stars are so screwed.

You can read the full interview HERE. But before that, watch this:


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