As America picks up the pieces and survivors tell their tales from Black Friday, Hollywood is ready once again to pay tribute to the murder of consumers. Everyone's favorite movie is headed for a remake. I refer, of course, to Chopping Mall.

Dry County Entertainment is planning a remake of Roger Corman's 1980's horror flick that saw teenagers locked in a mall fighting for survival against high-tech security robots. Production is scheduled to begin in the spring, but it seems the project will be similar in name only. Dry County owner, Robert Hall, explains, "It will retain the basic concept of young people trapped in a mall; however, the story will have a darker, supernatural spin."

In other words, robots are too expensive. I just hope this darker, supernatural spin will still involve heads exploding from laser fire. You can't have Chopping Mall without that. (Variety)