Ashton Kutcher And Demi Moore To Div…ZZZZZZ

Thursday, November 17 by
I felt sorry for them until I saw that he got married in that hat.  

And now, an article from the “Who cares?” file.

In the wake of what many perceive to be infidelity on Ashton Kutcher’s part, Demi Moore has announced that she is divorcing her husband of six years. During that time, they captured our attention and our hearts by doing nothing terribly noteworthy other than having a slightly large age gap between them.

Ugh. I’m boring myself here.

Let’s see…Ashton has been in some pretty bad films, which makes this story slightly more relevant than if it was, say, Nicole Richie and Joel Madden getting divorced. Are they divorced? Hmm. We’ll get our research team on that as soon as possible.

Oops. Looks like I’m approaching the minimum number of words I can spend on a story before my editor yells at me. THERE. 140 words.

Ashton did NOT need this right now. Last week, the star caused an unwanted stir when he tweeted about Joe Paterno’s firing without being aware of the surrounding scandal. This completely ruined Twitter for all the laypeople who assumed that celebrities wouldn’t rush to sound off about something before performing due¬†diligence.

Man it’s like the world shits on his head and now he’s forced to say “thanks for the hat.”

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