And The Winners Of The Trivial Golden Globe Awards Are…

You watched it or you didn’t watch it. Doesn’t matter much either way. The comforting news is The Tourist didn’t go home with anything, even though foreigners have a creepy love affair with Johnny Depp.

The Social Network won the night, taking home Globes for Best Director, Best Score, Best Screenplay, and Best Picture – Drama. I concur, Hollywood Foreign Press. Just know Social Network gang, if you win at The Academy Awards, stop praising David Fincher. The camera always goes to him and the guy doesn’t like the attention. It was clear from his speech he is self-conscious about his hair. Don’t you worry about it, David. Trent Reznor has more than enough to go around.

Here is the complete list of winners:

BEST PICTURE, DRAMA
The Social Network

BEST PICTURE, COMEDY OR MUSICAL
The Kids Are All Right

ACTOR, DRAMA
Colin Firth – The King’s Speech

ACTRESS, DRAMA
Natalie Portman – The Black Swan

ACTRESS, COMEDY OR MUSICAL
Annette Bening – The Kids Are All Right

ACTOR, COMEDY OR MUSICAL
Paul Giamatti – Barney’s Version

BEST ANIMATED FEATURE
Toy Story 3

FOREIGN LANGUAGE FILM
In A Better World (Denmark)

BEST SUPPORTING ACTRESS, MOTION PICTURE
Melissa Leo The Fighter

BEST SUPPORTING ACTOR, MOTION PICTURE
Christian Bale – The Fighter

BEST DIRECTOR, MOTION PICTURE
David Fincher – The Social Network

BEST SCREENPLAY, MOTION PICTURE
Aaron Sorkin – The Social Network

BEST ORIGINAL SCORE, MOTION PICTURE
Trent Reznor, Atticus Ross – The Social Network

BEST ORIGINAL SONG, MOTION PICTURE
“You Haven’t Seen The Last Of Me” Burlesque

TELEVISION

DRAMA
Boardwalk Empire

COMEDY OR MUSICAL
Glee

ACTRESS, DRAMA
Katey Sagal Sons Of Anarchy

ACTOR, DRAMA
Steve Buscemi – Boardwalk Empire

ACTRESS, COMEDY OR MUSICAL
Laura Linney – The Big C

ACTOR, COMEDY OR MUSICAL
Jim Parsons The Big Bang Theory

BEST MINISERIES OR MOTION PICTURE
Carlos

ACTRESS IN A MINI-SERIES OR MOTION PICTURE
Claire Danes – Temple Grandin

ACTOR IN A MINI-SERIES OR MOTION PICTURE
Al Pacino – You Don’t Know Jack

SUPPORTING ACTRESS IN A SERIES, MINI-SERIES OR MOTION PICTURE
Jane Lynch – Glee

SUPPORTING ACTOR IN A SERIES, MINI-SERIES OR MOTION PICTURE
Chris Colfer – Glee