9 On-Demand Channels We’d Like To See Instead Of Ryan Gosling

Monday, February 6 by

The King Curtis/Honey Boo-Boo Child Channel

Where you see porcine problem children heralding the further demise of American culture, I see entertainment. Camera crews could follow them around as they rule their respective roosts and throw their celebrity status around at school. If that goes well, they could break into primetime with a special where they meet face to face. In the UFC Octagon, of course.

Foreign Commercials

Advertising overseas is way better than it is here. They don’t half-ass it and nudity laws are far more lax. In Europe, they advertise cars with huge naked breasts. Here we advertise cars with Star Wars references. FML.

Anthony Bourdain

All we want and all we’ve ever wanted was a no bullshit chef on television who liked to party, eat awesome food, drink hard, and hang out with hot chicks. We almost had that with Jack Tripper, but he acted like a total pussy whenever the Ropers would stop by.

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