10 Lame-Ass Batman Villains Who Should Never Be In A Film

Friday, March 11 by

Tweedledum and Tweedledee

Dumfree and Deever Tweed are nearly identical cousins who rely on their cunning intellect for a life of crime. It’s a good thing they’re smart, because the pair are described as “lazy and obese” which aren’t exactly the best qualities for a movie super villain to have, with the possible exception of Jabba the Hut. In all fairness, Jabba had a thyroid problem.

Catman

There aren’t many things sexier than a hot chick dressed in a Catwoman outfit. Conversely, there aren’t many things less appealing than a grown man dressed like a cat. This brings us to Thomas Blake, a “world-famous” trapper of jungle cats. After he grew tired of pussy, Blake turned to a life of crime, taking on the Catman persona. Apparently, even the other villains considered him a joke, and he eventually returned to Africa to live with a pack of Lions.

Crazy Quilt

Crazy Quilt was a former painter who decided to try his hand at a life of crime. It didn’t work out, and he was promptly shot and captured by the police. The shooting left CQ blind, so he volunteered for an experimental surgery to restore his site. While he did regain his vision, side-effects caused him to see colors in a blindingly distorted way, which led to madness. Like all crazy people, Crazy Quilt then decided to wear a multicolored quilt-patch suit and use the power of light rays to commit crimes. Something tells me that today’s film-goers won’t be impressed by a villain who looks like he’s been shopping at Steven Tyler’s garage sale and uses a glorified flashlight as a weapon.

The Condiment King

When it comes to intimidating weapons, ketchup and mustard don’t usually come to mind. So it’s no surprise that The Condiment King is the least intimidating character on this, or probably any, list. He started on the animated series as a comic relief, and according to the comics, his real name is Mitch Mayo. Get it? With puns like that, it’s easy to see why most people wouldn’t relish the chance to see him on the big screen. Sorry.

COMMENTS

  1. March 11, 2011 2:04 pm

    Anonymous

    what about swimsuit calendar man?


  2. March 11, 2011 2:04 pm

    Anonymous

    He’s OK.


  3. March 11, 2011 2:04 pm

    Martin

    They could just go back to KGBeast’s original name, which was just the Beast.

    Catman was a shitty villain, but he’s a pretty cool antihero now.


  4. March 11, 2011 2:04 pm

    Thor

    You be quiet! How else can we cast Jeff Dunham in this movie if not as The Ventriloquist?


  5. March 11, 2011 2:04 pm

    calendarmanfan

    You leave Calendar Man alone!


  6. March 11, 2011 2:04 pm

    Paulo

    Serial killer cat man from LODK was cool, would make a great movie villain.