It’s Groundhog Day. And unless you’re some sort of Bill Murray-hating mutant, the holiday invokes fond memories of the classic Harold Ramis film about Phil Conners, an arrogant weatherman who is forced to relive the same day over and over again.
The filmmakers chose the holiday because they felt it was the most mundane. And while spending an eternity stuck in Punxsutawney would surely be maddening, it could be worse. Here are 9 days that make being stuck in Groundhog Day look good by comparison.
It’s one thing to be stuck in small-town Pennsylvania. Unless you’re over the age of 60, the undeniable quaintness can’t make up for the overwhelming boredom. That being said, Punxsutawney seems delightful when compared to the drug-infested, gang-controlled world of South Central L.A. depicted in Training Day. On top of the dangers inherent in any police job, you’d have to wake up every da knowing your partner is a corrupt bastard who has no problem killing you. Of course, I guess you could always call in sick and go do something fun instead of going to work. But since a blizzard blocks Phil from leaving Punxsutawney, I imagine the same rules apply in this scenario, and an endless traffic jam would keep you from heading to the beach.
Yeah, spending eternity in Groundhog Day would be lik fighting a never-ending battle, metaphorically speaking. That said, it sure beats the hell out of fighting an actual battle, and that’s exactly what you’d be doing if you were stuck in The Longest Day. Watching your friends die as you stormed the same beach day after day would be horrifying. But at least you wouldn’t have to hear Sonny and Cher sing “I Got You Babe” every time you woke up.
I’m fond of the original version of this film, and I’m not going to ruin it by watching the remake. (Spoiler Alert) That being said, if I’m going to relive one day over and over again, it better not be the day when Earth loses all of its electrical power. I’ve got an XBox to play, you alien bitch!
On the one hand, spending the rest of your existence fighting zombie hordes would be a horrible thing. But if you’re in a zombie apocalypse, you’re pretty much stuck in that situation regardless. At least with the Groundhog Day scenario, you have the piece of mind of knowing that if you are bitten by the undead, you’ll wake up with a fresh start. Even so, I’ll take Groundhog Day.
Watching environmental disasters unfold and cause massive amounts of destruction would actually be kind of cool if you knew that no matter what happened, you’d wake up again the next day. However, would you really want to spend day after day listening to the same shitty dialogue? It’s a pretty horrifying thought. On a side note, the plot to Groundhog Day is actually more believable than The Day After Tomorrow.
Imagine waking up day after day knowing that you had to hang out with Tom Cruise and Cameron Diaz. Yeah, not a pleasant thought, is it? Suddenly, Ned Ryerson seems a whole lot more tolerable. He might try to sell you insurance, but at least he won’t try to convert you to Scientology.
You think small-town Pennsylvania is dull? Try spending your days as a lonely butler in the English countryside. Oh, by the way, it’s the early 1930’s, your boss is a Nazi sympathizer who treats you with contempt, and the woman you love (whom you work with every day) is going to marry some asshole. At least in Groundhog Day, Phil gets laid from time to time.
What’s worse than being stuck in a tunnel that’s about to be flooded? Having an over-the-hill Sylvester Stallone as your only chance of escape. And even if he does get you to safety, you’re just going to wake up in the same situation the next day. It’s like Sisyphus pushing his boulder up the hill, except the myth of Sisyphus is a lot more entertaining than Daylight.
Liquid-Metal cyborgs, mental institutions, nuclear annihilation: Terminator 2: Judgment Day has it all. But does being hunted by a robot for all eternity sound like fun to you? Unless it’s some sort of sexbot, the answer is no. Although now that I think about it, being hunted by a sexbot is going on my bucket list.