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Thanks to AMC’s “The Walking Dead,” zombies are a hot commodity in Hollywood. And with Zombieland 2 and Pride and Prejudice and Zombies already slated for production, America’s love affair with the undead shows no sign of letting up. But we all know it’s only a matter of time before this, like all fads, jumps the shark.
But until then, Hollywood is sure to churn out one Zombie-related project after another until they’ve scrapped the absolute bottom of the barrel. Some will be awesomely entertaining, most will be unwatchable, but each project will push us closer to the point of over-saturation. Here are seven examples we’re likely to see in 2011.
The cops of”CSI: Miami” spend their days examining dead people. Why not cut out the middleman and put the undead on the case. Besides, Horatio Caine and company can use a fresh set of eyes, even if those eyes are rotting. Yeeeaaaaaaaah!
This is America, damn it! Even the most wretched dirtbags among us are entitled to a fair trail. But what about zombies? How do you go about punishing someone who’s already dead? Life in prison? The death penalty? “Habeas Corpus” will explore the legal complications that are sure to accompany the zombie apocalypse.
Everyone under the age of 50 seems to hate sitcoms like “Two and a Half Men.” What if the “half-man” in question wasn’t that fat kid, but someone who’d been devoured by a zombie? I smell an Emmy!
Medical shows like “Grey’s Anatomy” are already running out of ridiculous plot lines. It won’t be long until zombies are thrown into the mix. Besides, I’m sure the zombie characters would be a lot more likable than Katherine Heigl.
Having a kid at the age of 16 is difficult enough. Try doing it when you’re dead. Yeah, it’s easy to sit there and judge that girl in the picture for devouring her own fetus, but remember; her body, her choice.
Considering the average age of a Leno fan, marketing his show to the undead is the next logical step.
Porn films are made with such frequency that eventually, everything gets a parody (Shindler’s Fist, anyone?). So it’s only a matter of time before zombies make their way into the world of porn, especially if Zombie-ism is caused by a virus.
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COMMENTS
January 4, 2011 8:40 am
Jesus Christ
How the F does this garbage make the front page on Digg?
January 4, 2011 8:40 am
Fyou
Zombie Porn already exists…do some research, dumbass…or better yet, just stop writing
January 4, 2011 8:40 am
John
I’m not using the internet ever again after reading this article.
January 4, 2011 8:40 am
jrea
Just terrible the author of this garbage should be examined