After selling 20 million copies and convincing housewives and receptionists the nation over that spanking is soooooooo sexy, 50 Shades of Grey is now getting the film treatment, unsurprisingly, as Universal puts some producers on point. Mike DeLuca and Dana Brunetti, who served the same role on David Fincher's The Social Network, will now be telling the story of Christian Grey, a billionaire who fucks a journalist. Why this is worthy of a book or film is beyond me. I'm guessing journalists get fucked all the time, but I wouldn't know because I'm just a "blogger."

Next steps for the project include finding a screenwriter and a director. No timeline has been expressly stated, but I would look to something in late 2013 at the absolute earliest. Plenty of names have been bandied about as possible directors, but they're too stupid to mention here.

Okay. One.

Angelina Jolie.

I told you they were stupid.