The same type of rube that thinks 50 Shades of Grey passes for decent erotica will almost certainly think anything in a bottle with a sophisticated label is a good wine. Knowing far more about brand extension than she does about sentence construction, and certainly winemaking, author E.L. James will nonetheless now be dishing out reds and whites.

All the more frustrating, even to those with a passing knowledge of wines, is that the two wines are called simply, "Red Satin" and "White Silk," which means that they're probably just made in prisons across the US and use food coloring for consistent color.

But, they probably make the prospect of your bored wife shoving some anal beads inside you a little more palatable, so hey, synergy.