If you’re into Movie and TV arcana as much as we are, you know there’s only one place to find the weirdest, geekiest, most fantastically obscure memorabilia collecting dust in someone’s closet. eBay: the auction house for the modern fanboy. We at Screen Junkies decided to investigate some of the cooler/weirder/geekier finds currently available for purchase on the site (at least at the time of this post), and are showing them off to you, the fans.
Consider us your new secret shoppers.
Our intern, Ian, took one look at this item and said, with the utmost sincerity, "Someone’s going to f**k that in the mouth." He’s probably got a point. But so do Kate’s teeth (after all it’s a "life-like" model of her character from Underworld). So… insert any appendages with extreme caution. Also available in white.
This vintage 1974 Benji metal trash can is a must-have item. Not only is it the perfect accessory to your race car bed, but it’s also the perfect place to store your copy of Benji the Hunted when you’re older than 8. Benji phoned that one in; let’s be honest.
Whenever we watch our favorite TV programs, we always wonder to ourselves, what’s the most innocuous, unidentifiable piece of the show’s memorabilia that we can possibly own? This eBay seller may have hit the nail on the frakkin’ head with this BSG undershirt, which costs twice as much as an UnderArmour™ sleeveless undershirt, but looks just as horrible on you.
What do you get the Christopher Lloyd fan who has everything except a creepy Christopher Lloyd Life Mask? Why, this creepy Christopher Lloyd Life Mask, of course! (NOTE: Intern Ian did not find this item to be nearly as f**kable as the Beckinsale resin.) To think, you could have Doc Brown’s grill frozen in carbonite hanging in your rumpus room. Not your bag? Well then you could pick up this Bruce Campbell Suspended in Mid-Orgasm Life Mask.
Some boys collect trading cards of heroes celebrated for having broken the stolen bases record, or winning a batting title. But many of us find the art of bigature making and digital wizardry far more goosebump-inducing. Own this autographed card celebrating one of the current heads of the now-über-celebrated WETA. His impressive stats on LOTR alone make him Hall of Fame worthy, and it’s pretty much a guarantee he’s never been on the juice.
Finally, you can own a piece of the rape scene from Gremlins 2: The New Batch with this autographed proof. Perfect for fans of Gremlin rape or rape in general!!!
Say goodbye to a cinema legend with this shirt celebrating one of Swayze’s greatest roles. (Can be worn ironically or with the utmost sincerity.) Purchase fast, as Celebricide ’09 is sure to strike again soon!
Ever wanted to smell like Peter Weller, circa 1987? Now you can.
Let your chubby, mascara tears (yes, tears can be chubby) flow all over this HOT New Moon pillow cover as you watch the otherworldly love affair between Edward and Bella. Cat hair resistant!!
This rare glossy provides a glimpse at Johnny Five’s failed attempt to bring Brokeback Mountain to Broadway. Too bad that funding dropped out. At least we’ll get to see him drop robo-trow this fall when he takes the lead in Equus.
Show all the ladies down at the RC Pro Am that you’re a man who enjoys the finer intricacies of what most consider the worst of the Trek films, with this Star Trek V tee. Set phasers to parents’ basement!
If you daydream of having been a childhood friend of Jeff Goldblum‘s, a friendship that included going to the local theme park (where the attractions don’t eat the tourists) and taking fake old timey photos with each other, then this is the item that can finally support the lies you’ve been telling your friends for years. Suitable for framing.
If you liked what you saw today, then let us know in the comments section. If we get the sense that there’s a demand for more of our investigative shopping, then we’ll keep it up on a more frequent basis.
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