It’s Mother’s Day on sunday, and Screenjunkies is saluting the top ten movie moms from whom we wouldn’t mind receiving a spanking. Deciding this was difficult. We pored over days’ worth of DVDs… held focus groups in top secret testing facilities underneath Beverly Hills… and even phoned our Dads to get their opinions. What resulted is this list – a virtual who’s who of cinematic MILFage from the past twenty years. You may not agree with them as your personal ten, but you can’t deny that if any of them were your mother… then you probably have/had a lot of friends ask to spend the night at your place in high school.
Send in the MOMS!!!
HALLE BERRY as Leticia Musgrove in Monster’s Ball
Halle Berry is one of the hottest women on the planet, in any capacity – though especially when naked. Go figure. There was Swordfish, of course, but that was an appetizer. Monster’s Ball, however, was more like a Berry smorgasbord… with the unfortunate aftertaste of Billy Bob Thornton ass. Thankfully you can edit that stuff out with consumer grade digital editing software now. Halle’s role as the hot single mom nabbed her an Oscar, proving getting naked on camera does pay. Hear that, impressionable aspring actresses of the world?
BEVERLY D’ANGELO as Ellen Griswold in Nat’l Lampoon’s European Vacation
Beverly D’ Angelo is best known as being the middle American Ellen Griswold in the National Lampoon’s Vacation movies, but underneath the conservative facade, a tigress was waiting to be unleashed. It only took a some coaxing from Clark and a video camera that puts Zack Morris’s cell phone to shame. In the second installment of the series, Ellen flaunted it in front of the camera, which was then stolen and… well, just watch the clip below. In this instance, it does not pay to get naked on camera. But you can still end up a movie star.
ANGELINA JOLIE as Grendel’s Mother in Beowulf
Probably the most notorious actress (and real life mom) of our time isAngelina Jolie. I’m not sure if it’s holding a vial of Billy Bob Thornton’s blood, or making Brad Pitt’s life a living hell (or so that’s what the tabloids tell us) that makes her such a media spectacle, but I digress. She played Grendel’s Mother in the motion capture animation extravaganza Beowulf, and was the hottest CG creature with a tail we’ve ever seen, possibly because her only competition is Sean Connery in Dragonheart.
BEYONCÉ KNOWLES as Sharon in Obsessed
Beyoncé has generally played the foxy, single woman roles, but now, at an ancient 28 years old, she’s playing Idris Elba’s wife and mother of his child in her newest film, Obsessed. She’s always acted older than her age, for sure, as she started in music at an early age until, like most talented young female artists, she moved into movies where she hit it even bigger to which Beyoncé has become a household name. Be sure to check out Taco Perkins’ review of the film here.
MARIA BELLO as Edie Stall in A History of Violence
Maria Bello has been in numerous movies and is definitely not afraid to show herself off. Starting out guest starring in a number of TV shows, Maria made her way into movies in Coyote Ugly, after which she moved on to countless projects with Hollywood’s finest. One of her most memorable roles would have to be in A History Of Violence where she starred as the mother to Viggo’s children, dressed up like a cheerleader, and got busy on the staircase with her husband (in a scene that cannot be shown here, so you’ll have to settle for the cheerleading scene).
AMY STOCK-POYNTON as Missy Preston in Bill & Ted’s Excellent Adventure
Amy Stock-Poynton appeared in exremely minor roles in 80s classics like Summer School and Sould Man, but then started working a lot more frequently after playing Bill S. Preston, Esquire’s hot Stepmother in Bill And Ted’s Excellent Adventure. She reappeard in the sequel, Bill & Ted’s Bogus Journey, but as Missy Logan (Ted’s stepmom). Twist! Speaking of twists, Amy also appeared in Murder, She Wrote, which was an excellent show, but in no way will ever surpass Bill & Ted on the excellence scale, as bitchin’ as Angela Lansbury is.
JANE SEYMOUR as Kathleen Cleary in The Wedding Crashers
Jane Seymour is Dr. Quinn, Medicine Woman, and her show ran for years, keeping herout of the movie scene for some time. However, after several TV movies and smaller features, she got the memorable supporting role of the elegant mom/lascivious cougar lady cast aside Christopher Walken in Wedding Crashers.
KATE WINSLET as Sarah Pierce in Little Children
Playing a mom is not a new role for Kate Winslet, though in Little Children, she was certainly the hottest, despite the films controversial story. Obviously Titanic is what put Kate Winslet on the map, but certainly every one of her roles has gained her notoriety as a beautiful and talented artist. Her crowning achievement? Feigning surprise when she won an Oscar this year for The Reader after taking home a Golden Globe for Revolutionary Road. I mean, c’mon. Did you really think you wouldn’t?
DIANE LANE as Connie Sumner in Unfaithful
Diane Lane is that face most of us know but not necessarily her name. She’s a talented and eclectic actress who’s been in everything from Murder at 1600 to Unfaithful, to which she played a sexy mom and unloyal wife to Richard Gere. And much to her credit, the role landed her an Oscar Nomination. Here’s a montage of Diane in the film, ruined by a melodramatic Rihanna song.
JENNIFER COOLIDGE as Stifler’s Mom in American Pie
We all know Jennifer Coolidge as the one and only Stifler’s Mom. And being the voluptuous, blonde beauty she is, it gained her infinitely more roles in a wide variety of movies afterwards as the voluptuous, blonde beauty, either as a trashy manicurist in Legally Blonde, the gold digging closet lesbian in Best In Show, and any such role that falls in between. Despite the eclectic range of roles being a MILF got her, I’ll always see Stifler’s mom.
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