In SPREAD, opening this Friday, Ashton Kutcher plays Nikki, a high-end lothario who has slept his way into a life of privilege. We haven’t seen the film, but we’re pretty sure that we’d rather it focused on Kutcher’s co-star Margarita Levieva, if only to give us more screen time with her. In the film, Levieva plays Heather, who turns out to be a grifter just like Nikki… and the plot thickens.
But it got us thinking that Heather, no matter how good she is at swindling through sex, has got some pretty stiff competition cinematically speaking. The following ten sexpots are Screen Junkies’ picks for the 10 Hottest Female Grifters in Movies.
ORIGINAL SIN (2001)
When you have the ridonkulous hotness on your side, you can convince weak men to do anything. In the case of ORIGINAL SIN, Julia (Angelina Jolie)is a high stakes grifter who seduces wealthy Cuban coffee magnate Luis (Antonio Banderas) into marrying her based on a bunch of overseas correspondence and charm. Flash forward, past a lot of intrigue and a lot more ass shots (some Jolie good, some of the Banderas variety) and you wind up finding out Julia is in cahoots with Walter (Thomas Jane), the phony detective who’s been playing Luis almost as long as his partner. Just not with his balls, like Julia. We don’t want to spoil too much, but run out and rent this to check out Jolie’s performance, which garnered her the 2001 Worst Actress Razzie award. And she didn’t even have to $%*& anyone to get it.
DOUBLE INDEMNITY (1944)
Barbara Stanwyck is the O.G. of this sultry bunch, but still one of the best thanks to her role as conniving femme fatale Phyllis Dietrichson in Billy Wilder’s DOUBLE INDEMNITY. After taking out a sizable life insurance policy on her husband, Dietrichson seduces insurance man Walter Neff (Fred MacMurray) so badly he agrees to murdering the cuckold in cold blood. We won’t tell you what happens in the rest of the film – this is one of the best Film Noir flicks EVER and you should see it – but suffice it to say that if we were on the receiving end of Dietrichson’s advances back in the day, we might have done some very bad things, too. Not sold? Check out some of this smoldering dialogue between Neff & Phyllis:
Phyllis: Mr. Neff, why don’t you drop by tomorrow evening about eight-thirty. He’ll be in then.
Walter Neff: Who?
Phyllis: My husband. You were anxious to talk to him weren’t you?
Walter Neff: Yeah, I was, but I’m sort of getting over the idea, if you know what I mean.
Phyllis: There’s a speed limit in this state, Mr. Neff. Forty-five miles an hour.
Walter Neff: How fast was I going, officer?
Phyllis: I’d say around ninety.
Walter Neff: Suppose you get down off your motorcycle and give me a ticket.
Phyllis: Suppose I let you off with a warning this time.
Walter Neff: Suppose it doesn’t take.
Phyllis: Suppose I have to whack you over the knuckles.
Walter Neff: Suppose I bust out crying and put my head on your shoulder.
Phyllis: Suppose you try putting it on my husband’s shoulder.
Walter Neff: That tears it.
You gotta have one tag team on the list, and this is about as hot as it gets… at least on paper. Starring as a mother-daughter con artist team, Weaver and Love Hewitt fleece wealthy men out of their savings. The grift is this, Weaver finds and marries rich men. Then JLH swoops in and seduces them. Weaver catches them in the act and takes the guys for all they’re worth in divorce proceedings. Although the movie wasn’t all that great, the two have a nice chemistry together. And by that I’m talking about the movie’s real stars. (Hint: Hewitt’s boobs.)
YOU ONLY LIVE TWICE (1967)
James Bond has slept with plenty of women who are after more than just his pocket Walther PPK, but our pick for most conniving of the bunch is Helga Brandt, played by hot German strudel Karin Dor in YOU ONLY LIVE TWICE. A loyal henchwoman of arch-villain Ernst Stavro Blofeld, head of the nefarious SPECTRE, Brandt attempts to kill Bond by pretending to defect to his side. She ends up defecting to his side of the bed as well, and not for lack of trying. "Mr. Osato believes in a healthy chest," says Brandt to Bond, as she mixes him a stiff drink in her boss, Osato’s office. Sadly, Osato also believes in standing by while his employees are eaten alive by Blofeld’s pet piranhas – a fate Brandt meets after her failure to finish Bond once and for all. Fun fact: the film was written by Roald Dahl.
THE BIG BOUNCE (2004)
Based on Elmore Leonard’s first crime novel, THE BIG BOUNCE stars Owen Wilson as a small time crook who gets involved with scorching hot Sara Foster. Together they team up to take down a sleazy real estate developer whom she is sleeping with. Naturally because it is an Elmore Leonard story, she has her own hidden agenda. Who’d have thought that a backstabbing mistress couldn’t be trusted? BORING FACT: Sara Foster is Hollywood royalty and introduced Ashton Kutcher to Demi Moore.
Before playing with bullet-time and high wire kung fu, the Wachowski Brothers bent stereotypes about sexuality in the Billy Wilder-inspired BOUND. Jennifer Tilly plays a woman who wants out of her abusive relationship with Mafioso Joe Pantoliano. She falls into the arms of Gina Gershon who helps her make off with 2 million mob bucks, leaving a pile of Italian bodies along the way. Much like the fight scenes in THE MATRIX, the sex scenes in BOUND were also choreographed. This time the moves are plotted out by sex expert Susie Bright not by Yuen Woo-ping, who is rumored to be terrible in bed.
Indiana Jones & THE LAST CRUSADE (1989)
Life can be cruel, but karma eventually wins out. And so it goes for the actress whose surname is synonymous with feces for most first graders, but whose uncompromising good looks is synonymous with boners for grown men. Yes, Alison Doody solidified (ha) her place in the pantheon of sexy cinematic swindlers when, as Dr. Elsa Schneider, she slept her way int Indiana Jones‘s trust one hot, sticky night in Venice, Italy… before selling Dr. Jones out to the Nazis. Had Indy only heeded Short Round’s prophetic portent that there’s "No time for love," he’d never EVER get into these sorts of messes. But then again… even some Nazis can be too hot to brush off.
TO DIE FOR (1995)
All Nicole Kidman wants is a little attention in Gus Van Sant’s twisted dark comedy TO DIE FOR. Kidman stars as a woman so determined to be a famous news anchor that she seduces a teenager into killing her husband because he wants her to put her career on hold. Without giving away too much of the plot, we’ll just say that the film is an excellent satire of the media circus and the greedy people that desire fame no matter the cost. The movie really is very good and Kidman is hilarious in it. If you haven’t seen this yet make that the next thing you do. Okay. Put pants on first.
POISON IVY (1992)
"What Ivy wants, Ivy gets," is this film’s tagline, and it couldn’t be truer about the titular character played by Drew Barrymore, who befriends schoolmate Sylvie Cooper (Sara Gilbert) to infiltrate her family and eventually move in with them. Shortly thereafter, Ivy gets in father Darryl’s (Tom Skerritt) pants, and – SPOILER ALERT – takes mother Georgie (Cheryl Ladd) out of the picture through… muuuuurdeeeer. Take that, Strokes guitarist Albert Hammond Jr. and actor/Mac shill Justin Long! Tom Skerritt had Drew FIRST!
FEMME FATALE (2002)
Way back during the Stamos years, Rebecca Romijn teamed up with Brian De Palma to bear it all in FEMME FATALE. Starring as a jewel thief who knows how to get her hands on more than just precious stones. The big score takes place during a Cannes Film Festival screening when sexy Rie Rasmussin enters ass-naked save for some chain mail and diamond-encrusted bra. The plan is simple and evidently dreamt up by a fourteen year old hornball. Ash is to casually approach the model while she is clad in millions, walk her away from security, and convince her to partake in a quickie in the bathroom (a classic move known as ‘the Hartnett’). During the steamy lesbian tryst, the body armor is swapped out for a counterfeit. If you thought it was exciting to see Tom Cruise get the NOC List out of Langley in De Palma’s MISSION: IMPOSSIBLE, you’ll be a different kind of excited to watch Rasmussin get out of those clothes.
What sexual grifter ladies from film would you be willing to sleep with if it meant very bad things for you later?
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