Everyone always talks about date movies, but what about the dates in movies? Sure, you can pick Hollywood’s latest (laaaaame) offerings of Dear John or Valentine’s Day and hope to impress the girl you tricked into going out with you. Or, you could take a cue from some movies that nailed the perfect date and really knock their socks/panties off.
10) Superman: The Movie
If you can fly, that’s kind of cheating. I suppose nobody else can recreate Superman’s first date with Lois Lane (but you’d earn major points if you can find some zero-G way to do it!) Still, it’s certainly a date we’d all want to have. Well, we’d all want a date with a hot newspaper reporter (old school, no bloggers) but also to have the badass powers to fly her around the world. Mmmm, McDonald’s in Paris. Was that a bra strap I heard unsnapping?
9) Naked Gun
Any date that ends in full body condoms is worth a try. Remember, when The Naked Gun came out, it was the funniest movie ever. In the middle of it all, Frank Dreben enjoys a lovely date with Jane Spencer involving the usual beach at sunset and all the romantic trappings. Those full body condoms brought the house down then, and now 22 years later, they’ve got to be worth at least a shortstop. If you don’t know what that is you’ve got a lot to learn from more sexually explicit sites.
8) Out of Sight
Buy a woman a drink, have some good conversation and see where it leads. Take a cue from Clooney in this scene on how to charm a tough girl up to her hotel room. We can’t all be as hot as George Clooney and J-Lo, but man, if we could slither around in that noir-ish lighting, we’d probably feel hot.
7) Before Sunrise
Meet a pretty girl on a train in Europe, and end up having an all night date with her. That’s the dream of a number of men taking a solo journey of self-discovery abroad. It also makes a solid 90 minutes of lovey dovey indie charm. The idea that they’ll only have one night actually feels tragic. I mean, meet up next year? Just write down her number and buy another ticket! At least we know now that there’s a sequel.
6) Say Anything
When Lloyd Dobler asked Diane Court out, they only went to a house party. It was pretty memorable with the keymaster and drunk mascots romping about, Corey singing all her breakup songs and just plain honest socializing. What makes it special is that it was Lloyd and Diane. His courtship was so direct and sincere. Everyone should just be that honest and whoever connects, it doesn’t matter where you go. Rock on, Cusack.
5) Annie Hall
When Alvy and Annie tried to make a home cooked lobster dinner, the live lobsters became a classic cinematic gag. It was so popular that they even tried to recreate it on that show Herman’s Head. Remember that show? You don’t? Good. So yeah, buy some expensive lobsters, let them crawl around on your dirty kitchen floor and it’ll be so endearing that you can’t pick them up that you won’t even end up having to cook. Having sex with the knowledge that there are live lobsters in the next room is uber kinky.
4) Pulp Fiction
Jack Rabbit Slims. Don’t be a square. Retro ‘50s diner, $5 milkshakes, a twist contest and a hypodermic needle to the heart sure make for a memorable date. The best part though is the conversation. Vincent Vega and Mia Wallace get to speak Quentin Tarantino’s sharpest dialogue as they try to dodge the palpable sexual chemistry between them. Heck, I’d settle for a date that can talk about movies, but this profound sh*t is heaven.
3) 9 1/2 Weeks
Who says you have to go out to a fancy dinner to impress a lady? Just open up your refrigerator. The famous food scene in 9 ½ Weeks should be a how-to course for making the most of everyday items. Strawberries have never been sexier than oozing their way between Kim Basinger’s lips, and that dangling fusilli kills me.
When I was growing up, my dad told me to pay attention to the ice skating date scene in Rocky. He told me that when I’m old enough to date, I should remember to take a girl ice skating. It was a great date because she’d have to hold onto me, we’d get to talk, it would be intimate. I’m 32 and I still waiting to take a girl on that date. Don’t worry about me, I’m all out of tears.
1) Once Upon A Time In America
Okay, here’s how you bring out the big guns. To woo his childhood sweetheart, DeNiro’s character opens up a waterfront restaurant during its off season and hires the full kitchen and wait staff to serve one table and cook whatever she wants. Okay, so the following scene could possibly, maybe be considered rape, but we’re focusing on the happy romantic part.