Wow. That was close. It appears that Jack and Jill, the Adam Sandler costume vehicle, won’t be making as much money as we all feared it would, having pulled in “only” $26 million over the weekend. Well, when you come that close to disaster, you want to really take stock of your life and evaluate, which is what we did by looking at some of the worst films to crack $100 million at the box office.
Unfortunately, I could easily have made this list the “90 Worst Movies to Gross Over $100 Million” and the message wouldn’t have been diluted at all. There are some truly awful films out there that have made a lot of money. And we have no one to blame but ourselves. Studios aren’t really in the business of making good films, they’re in the business of making money. So until we hold off on paying for films unless they’re good (which will never, ever, ever happen), we are subsidizing more Pirates sequels and Fockers movies.
Shame on us. Shame on our eyes.
Here are some of the most egregious films to cross the $100 million mark. Feel free to put your two cents in the comments, as there are hundreds of horrible films that deserve to be here.
When your film is the impetus for an ongoing gag on 30 Rock about how Tracy Jordan makes mindless films that gross a lot of money, you’ve earned the lead spot on this list. The Klumps was later crucified as the moment Hollywood turned a corner into lazy, broad characters all played by one actor. It also had pervasive fart humor, and marked the general decline of Eddie Murphy from smart comic actor to industry caricature.
It’s remarkable that audiences hadn’t gotten sick of the franchise by this point. Although the third installment made less than the first and second, it was still an unqualified success, which leads me to believe that either a) audiences really like Jackie Chan (not surprising), or b) audiences not only tolerate, but actually enjoy Chris Tucker (mind-blowing). I know the value of a brand is important in Hollywood, but I wouldn’t have thought it outweighed what was clearly a thin presence to begin with.
They’re old familiar guys! Riding motorcycles! At least Space Cowboys had them go to space. This film is essentially just lame dads riding around on motorcycles, Starring Tim Allen, John Travolta, Martin Lawrence, and William H. Macy (!), I’m not sure why audiences wanted to watch these guys posture as tough bikers, nor do I know why Martin Lawrence said, “Hey! I want to be a part of this project!” Maybe he was drunk?