You Will Barely Survive These 5 Wilderness Movies

Thursday, December 1 by Joshua Wade

wilderness

Traumatizing grown adults since 1972, these wilderness movies prove that quiet American landscapes and lush foreign jungles are anything but peaceful. From the moment poor Bobby Trippe was told to squeal like a pig while being sodomized by hillbillies in “Deliverance” to the second John Rambo went completely ape shit on a group of local rednecks in “First Blood,” every second of these movies will make even the toughest outdoorsman ditch his tent for a hotel room.

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	<strong>“Deliverance”</strong> A testament to how depraved rednecks really are, “Deliverance” follows Lewis, Ed, Bobby, and Drew (Burt Reynolds, Ned Beatty, <a href='http://www.screenjunkies.com/tag/jon-voight-444/' class='linkify' target='_blank'>Jon Voight</a>, and Ronny Cox, respectively)–four friends who just want to enjoy their canoe trip down the Cahulawassee River only to find themselves being stalked and terrorized by a group of <a href=Georgia hillbillies. After the hicks ass rape Bobby and cause Drew’s death, Ed heads into the surrounding forest and kills the sick bastards one by one with the help of his trusty hunting bow. One of the best wilderness movies of all time, “Deliverance” still causes grown men to fear the south even decades after its release in 1972.

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“Predator” An elite team of commandos, composed of Hollywood hulks like Arnold Schwarzenegger, Jessie Ventura, and Carl Weathers, is stalked in the jungles of Guatemala by a demented alien with the ability to turn invisible and who, apparently, has a jones for skinning people alive and hanging them upside down. As with almost every action movie starring the muscle-bound Governator, Schwarzenegger is the only one left standing. Pissed off that the Predator has killed all of his friends, he proceeds to beat the living shit out of the ugly son of a bitch using nothing more than his bare hands and good old-fashioned survival skills.  

rambo first blood

“First Blood” Redneck local cops make the mistake of messing with a Vietnam vet with some serious shell shock and a field knife that is over a foot long simply because he happens to look like a smelly hippie. To make matters worse for themselves, he’s the last surviving member of an Army Special Forces unit and calls himself “Rambo.” After they arrest him and beat the hell out of him for no apparent reason, Rambo takes to the surrounding wilderness where he goes on a one man guerilla warfare campaign on their sorry asses, eventually taking his trauma-induced rage to the rest of the town where he proceeds to inadvertently blow the place off the face of the earth with makeshift bombs. Rambo then goes on to show Vietnam, Afghanistan, and Burma just how many terrorists a pissed off Soldier of Fortune can kill with a knife that would make Jim Bowie crap his pants.  

the edge anthony hopkins alec baldwin

“The Edge” As if surviving a plane crash in the Alaskan wilderness weren’t bad enough, Charles Morse (Anthony Hopkins) and Bob Green (Alec Baldwin) have to fight a big damn Kodiak bear. Gruesome maulings ensue, leading to one of the most badass fights with a bear ever filmed, making “The Edge” one of the best wilderness movies of the past decade. Filled with breathless expanses of the Alaskan wild and two incredible performances by Hopkins and Baldwin, the film is your average “man vs. wild vs. bear” scenario until Charles finds out that Bob is not only having an affair with his wife, but is also planning to kill him. Cue all hell breaking loose.

“Ravenous” Nothing motivates a panicked run through the mountains like a psychotic, starving cannibal brandishing a knife. Such is life for the occupants of Fort Spencer in the Sierra Nevada Mountains in the 1999 film “Ravenous.” Set in the 1800s, the movie follows Ives, a bloodthirsty cannibal who arrives at the fort with a horrendous tale of a cannibal slaughtering his traveling party—a lie designed to hide his true identity so that he can lure the fort’s inhabitants out into the wild to murder and eat them one by one, all underscored by an insanely out of place jaunty, folk soundtrack.

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