Wyld Stallyns Rule: 8 TV and Movie Bands We Would Actually Listen To

Wednesday, September 7 by

3. CB4 – CB4

I don’t care what kind of crazy upbringing you had, but my parents taught me to hold open doors for women, to write thank-you cards after dinner parties, and, when a song called “Sweat from My Balls” comes on, to listen to it.

MC Gusto, Dead Mike, and Stabmaster Arson were actually putting down some pretty interesting stuff in the midst of hip-hop’s second wave in 1992. In any event, it was wayyy better than that “Wackee Dee Is in the House” crap that had claimed the top spot on Weird Warren’s Video Countdown.

2. Crucitfictorious – Friday Night Lights

Sure, in a small town like Dillon, it’s hard to believe that Landry Clarke really has anything to be all that torn up about, but don’t forget: he killed a guy. Have you done anything 15% as emo as that? Nope. You probably wrote a song about that time you burned your lip on your Starbucks, poseur. He’s stuck in Dillon, he keeps running hot and cold with Tara, and he’s a murderer. This guy has some stories to tell. And I remember the girl in the band being pretty cool.

1. Faith + 1 – South Park

Featuring the cool, funky stylings of Token on bass, these guys take over-the-top Christian pageantry to a new level. And, while it’s easy to be skeptical of Cartman at first, that guy will wear you down like Scientology. Perhaps the most charismatic front man on this list, save for MC Gusto.

I would also really like to hear them cover TLC’s “Baby, Baby, Baby” once they switch the words to “Jesus, Jesus, Jesus.”