What Could Be Living On The Newly-Discovered Planet, Kepler-22b?

Tuesday, December 6 by


Explorers need to be very alert and never let their guards down. They may arrive during the day to find a completely deserted planet. However, that is no excuse not to be weary. Who knows what could come out at night. Perhaps space vampires or werewolves or reptiles or third-shift janitors. Be sure to pack flares.


It’s very likely that the beings on this planet are like us. If so, they probably like to eat mozzarella sticks while looking at the hat Humphrey Bogart wore in The Desperate Hours. If they’re half the capitalists that we are, they’ve likely got chain restaurants owned by celebrities as well. Otherwise, all of the restaurants probably just look like this.

Nude Beachgoers

Where there are oceans, there are beaches. It only stands to reason that these could be nude beaches. Though they aren’t so common here on Earth, Kepler-22b seems like a pretty chill place, and may be a lot more lax about nudity and public exposure than we are. It’s like Europe: The Planet.

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