We Cast The Inevitable Casey Anthony Movie

Tuesday, July 5 by
 

Just a few hours ago, Casey Anthony was found not guilty of killing her 2-year-old daughter Caylee. While the jury seems like the only people with a shadow of a doubt, Anthony will soon be released out into the world again, free to take more pictures of herself slamming back shots and getting her tit grabbed. We could debate all day whether or not the justice system in America is in fact just, but tempers would quickly flair and something valuable would no doubt get broken. The one matter I’m sure we can all agree on though is Hollywood will be clamoring over itself trying to snatch up the rights to the Casey Anthony story. I’ve gone the extra step by putting together my casting selections to fill the roles in the film. I wouldn’t be surprised if a few offers haven’t already landed on these particular actors’s desks.

Casey Anthony Portrayed by Angelina Jolie

Angelina Jolie may be a little old to play Casey, as the now acquitted, once alleged toddler murderer is only 25, but she carries the acting chops that might actually get the audience to sympathize with her “character.” Jolie’s big, green eyes will also help sell the innocent routine. She’ll need to say a lot with them while she remains silent behind the defense table.

Defense Attorney Jose Baez Portrayed by Anthony LaPaglia

Anthony is already familiar with the justice system, having played Special Agent Jack Malone on Without a Trace for seven years. Now it’s his turn to transition from law to order, trying his damnedest to convince a jury that hard evidence is just a silly formality.

Prosecuting Attorney Jeff Ashton Portrayed by Tom Wilkinson

Let’s be honest, this role was tailor-made for Tom Wilkinson. He’s probably boning up on his legal jargon and getting suits fitted as I write this. I can’t wait to see the utter dismay on his tired face when the verdict is read.

Judge Belvin Perry Portrayed by Forest Whitaker

Another shoe-in for a role, if he would accept it. I’m uncertain how Whitaker feels about sitting during most of a film, but it’s not like we’re all clamoring to see his gams. If anyone could keep a courtroom in order, it’s Forest. Just shoot ‘em that look, big guy. You know the one I’m taking about.

George Anthony Portrayed by Frank Vincent

Frank Vincent has that “this guy could rip out your larynx at any moment” kind of look. You almost feel as if he’s stared Death in the eye and Death pissed himself. Not to say he can’t cry too, which is perfect for the part. He’ll continue to keep us guessing as to whether or not George Anthony, Casey’s father, helped dispose of Caylee’s remains.

Caylee Anthony Portrayed by Current Welch’s Juice Girl

The film will undoubtedly have an intro or flashbacks featuring Caylee Anthony. Caylee was an adorable little girl, and the kids they get to do those Welch’s Grape Juice commercials are likewise adorable. With just a slight smile and a soft spoken word she’ll bring the audience to tears.

So how did I do? Any misses? Share your casting thoughts in the comment section.

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COMMENTS

  1. July 5, 2011 2:43 pm

    Mmmhmmr

    I think Rooney Mara would be a good choice. 


  2. July 5, 2011 2:43 pm

    Anonymous

    Nice! I agree. 


  3. July 5, 2011 2:43 pm

    Amanda9822

    I think Olivia Wilde should be Casey!


  4. July 5, 2011 2:43 pm

    Guest

    Yes! I’m not the only one who thinks Rooney should be cast.


  5. July 5, 2011 2:43 pm

    TinyDickman

    As long as it ends with her being dead i dont care


  6. July 5, 2011 2:43 pm

    Jacque

    Great picks – I think you’re right on!
    Jacque


  7. July 5, 2011 2:43 pm

    LuLu

    They not make a movie on this poor little girl’s murder to make Casey Anthony like a movie star!!!!! Everyone should boycott it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


  8. July 5, 2011 2:43 pm

    Fcaseyanthoney

    As long as Casey dies at the end, then I’ll go.


  9. July 5, 2011 2:43 pm

    whatafy

    Hilarious. That’s a great post. Of course they should make a movie. Amy Winehouse as Casey, definitely! 


  10. July 5, 2011 2:43 pm

    whatafy

    Hilarious. That’s a great post. Of course they should make a movie. Amy Winehouse as Casey, definitely! 


  11. July 5, 2011 2:43 pm

    Ksds

    Hilary Duff is perfect for this role she looks like Casey Anthony & she’s very talented ,,, i hope they choose her..


  12. July 5, 2011 2:43 pm

    Fuzzy

    hopefully they’ll show Angelina Jolie getting molested by Frank Vincent because that would probably be the greatest movie scene ever. and then after he was done, Frank would tell her to go home and get her fucking shinebox


  13. July 5, 2011 2:43 pm

    Pwhalen1011

    Hilary Duff actually played a Casey-type character in a ‘ripped from the headlines’ episode of law and order SVU


  14. July 5, 2011 2:43 pm

    Pwhalen1011

    Nancy Grace. And don’t forget lovable bounty hunter Leonard Padilla.


  15. July 5, 2011 2:43 pm

    Stop&Think!

    I am sorry  i do not agree with this movie being made. If
    i am not mistaken a poor innocent little girl is dead and there should be nobody
    trying to make $$$$ off of her… U people are just as sick as Casey!!!


  16. July 5, 2011 2:43 pm

    Brian Dozier75

    A move is the only way we will have an Idea on what really happened. The actors will interview each one and possibly help make the movie in her honor of Caylee. So we all know the truth! I believe this move is the last chance for Casey to tell the truth, if her story really happened the way she said it!!!


  17. July 5, 2011 2:43 pm

    eaglebird

    nonono…. Evangeline Lily as Casey Anthony


  18. July 5, 2011 2:43 pm

    Anonymous

    It’s not being made. Yet.


  19. July 5, 2011 2:43 pm

    Stephanie Brown1994

    could easily be casey anthony


  20. July 5, 2011 2:43 pm

    RAILROADBAMBI

    COME ON FOLKS.. IF THE OJ TRAIL WASNT ENOUGH TO MAKE US STOP AND LET THESE POOR VICTIMS HAVE A CHANCE TO BE HEARD.. BEYOND REASONABLE DOUBT.. HAHA..WAS A SICK SAD JOKE THAT INSTRUCTIONTURNS OUT TO BE SOMETIMES, HUH? ESPECIALLY WHEN BEING BROADCAST LIVE TV.. LETS STOP NEEDING A REALITY FIX THATS IS VIDEO FED B.S.  AND GET THESE CAMERAS OUT OF COURTROOMS, STOP BUYING THOSE DANG BOOKS, AND COME ON, YOU CANT THINK OF ANYTHING THAT CAN B MORE ENTERTAINING THEN MAKING THESE SICK BASTARDS FAMOUS, FREE AND WEALTHY.. A STAR..IS BORN THRU THAT ROTTEN BABY CHILD THREW IN THE TRASH FOR SHE WAS SO LOVED.. SEE THE HEART , THATS A KISS GOODNIGHT.. FROM MY MOMMY.. WE KNOW WHATS REAL AND RIGHT.. CANT WE JUST STOP THIS NONSENSE…  OF HAVING TO SEE IT ALL? WEVE MADE THAT JURY POLITIICALLY CORRECT , AGAIN AND AGAIN, IN DETERMINING REASONABLE DOUBT.. DEFINED WITHIN THE MEDIA WATCHFUL EYE.. DO YOU WORK YOUR BEST..WHEN A LENS, AND THE WORLD IS LOOKING AT YOU? PLZ.. STOP THE INSANITY.. ITS GETTING PRETTY BAD NOW HUH? NOT EVEN THIS BABY ANGEL COULD STOP US MAKING THOSE DEMONS MORE THAN HER…SAD SAD SAD…I PRAY SHE HAUNTS YOUR DREAMS IF YOU DARE SPEND ANOTHER DIME FEEDING THEIR SUCCESS..AND OTHERS LIKE THEM.. JUST STOP IT,,OK?.


  21. July 5, 2011 2:43 pm

    michelle

    i think they should make a movie about this because they have done movies about everry other one you can think of Like the Jon  benet movie 


  22. July 5, 2011 2:43 pm

    i got jokes

    I think Tommy Lee and William Shatner should be cast. They are used to people dying in their pools.


  23. July 5, 2011 2:43 pm

    Mzimm24

    Damn you’re good! Off the top of my head for Casey I picture Alyssa Milano, maybe Jennifer Love Hewitt. This will have me thinking about it now….but you picked some great matches.


  24. July 5, 2011 2:43 pm

    Absolutbianca

    Jennifer Love Hewitt for Casey, Armand Asante for the dad, Edie Falco for the mom, Andy Garcia (with weight) for Baez, Buscemi for the meter reader.  Everyone else is dead on.


  25. July 5, 2011 2:43 pm

    Grs_dev

    Casey: Zooey Deschanel or Katie Perry
    Baez: Andy Garcia or Barry Miller or Tony Shalhoub (from Monk)
    Ashton: Jeff Goldblum or George Clooney
    George Anthony: Danny Aiello
    Judge Perry: Malik Yoba, Gary Sturgis, Rockmond Dunbar
    Cindy Anthony: Emma Thompson


  26. July 5, 2011 2:43 pm

    Bnoel

    sure..Angelina Jolie is a good candidate ,but what about Alissa Milano or even Kristen Stuart? 


  27. July 5, 2011 2:43 pm

    Ruerue

    I’m not sure if this movie should even be made… no one should try to profit from one the largest court upsets in America…doesn’t really seem ethical at all…. :(  


  28. July 5, 2011 2:43 pm

    Smithmichele59

    Over 10 million would buy it you did it as a documentary,  allowing Casey to tell the story the way it happened.  Also,  give her 10 million dollars upfront,  and let Netflix,  and Amazon release it for the public to buy or rent.  Thanks.  Call Jose Baez’s office to set up an agreement @20905f590000f231f480fd7a379c8b0b:disqus   407-705-2626.


  29. July 5, 2011 2:43 pm

    Smithmichele59

    I just hope she can get some money to pay off the IRS,  legal fees ,  and start a business to help her move on with her life.