Just a few hours ago, Casey Anthony was found not guilty of killing her 2-year-old daughter Caylee. While the jury seems like the only people with a shadow of a doubt, Anthony will soon be released out into the world again, free to take more pictures of herself slamming back shots and getting her tit grabbed. We could debate all day whether or not the justice system in America is in fact just, but tempers would quickly flair and something valuable would no doubt get broken. The one matter I’m sure we can all agree on though is Hollywood will be clamoring over itself trying to snatch up the rights to the Casey Anthony story. I’ve gone the extra step by putting together my casting selections to fill the roles in the film. I wouldn’t be surprised if a few offers haven’t already landed on these particular actors’s desks.
Casey Anthony Portrayed by Angelina Jolie
Angelina Jolie may be a little old to play Casey, as the now acquitted, once alleged toddler murderer is only 25, but she carries the acting chops that might actually get the audience to sympathize with her “character.” Jolie’s big, green eyes will also help sell the innocent routine. She’ll need to say a lot with them while she remains silent behind the defense table.
Defense Attorney Jose Baez Portrayed by Anthony LaPaglia
Anthony is already familiar with the justice system, having played Special Agent Jack Malone on Without a Trace for seven years. Now it’s his turn to transition from law to order, trying his damnedest to convince a jury that hard evidence is just a silly formality.
Prosecuting Attorney Jeff Ashton Portrayed by Tom Wilkinson
Let’s be honest, this role was tailor-made for Tom Wilkinson. He’s probably boning up on his legal jargon and getting suits fitted as I write this. I can’t wait to see the utter dismay on his tired face when the verdict is read.
Judge Belvin Perry Portrayed by Forest Whitaker
Another shoe-in for a role, if he would accept it. I’m uncertain how Whitaker feels about sitting during most of a film, but it’s not like we’re all clamoring to see his gams. If anyone could keep a courtroom in order, it’s Forest. Just shoot ‘em that look, big guy. You know the one I’m taking about.
George Anthony Portrayed by Frank Vincent
Frank Vincent has that “this guy could rip out your larynx at any moment” kind of look. You almost feel as if he’s stared Death in the eye and Death pissed himself. Not to say he can’t cry too, which is perfect for the part. He’ll continue to keep us guessing as to whether or not George Anthony, Casey’s father, helped dispose of Caylee’s remains.
Caylee Anthony Portrayed by Current Welch’s Juice Girl
The film will undoubtedly have an intro or flashbacks featuring Caylee Anthony. Caylee was an adorable little girl, and the kids they get to do those Welch’s Grape Juice commercials are likewise adorable. With just a slight smile and a soft spoken word she’ll bring the audience to tears.
So how did I do? Any misses? Share your casting thoughts in the comment section.