The Hunger Games is poisd to take over the box office this weekend with some projecting an opening of $150 million. It's a foregone conclusion that we'll see sequels based upon the other entries in Suzanne Collins' book series. What then? How do you keep children killing one another in a contest to the death interesting? You bring in the big guns, that's how.

And so, we've taken the liberty of drawing the names for our very own version of The Hunger Games -- the child star version. May the odds be forever in their favor.

Vinnie Delpino vs. Kubiak

Our first match-up is the child actor version of David v. Goliath. Doogie Howser's fast-talking Vinnie Delpino against Parker Lewis Can't Lose's giant terror, Kubiak. Larry Kubiak is obviously the stronger of the two combatants. There's no doubt about that. He's stuffed many a student into a locker in his day, and could easily stuff Vinnie into his own asshole without breaking a sweat.

However, Vinnie isn't without his own strengths. He towers over Kubiak in terms of cunning and could easily lure him into a trap. If the odds are in his favor, the Gamemakers will provide him with a paper bag, a black marker, and an explosive device. Then he only need to place the explosive within the bag, scrawl "Larry's Lunch" (preferably misspelled) across it and leave it in an opening where Kubiak will find it. But if he's discovered by Kubiak while holding that bag, it's game over for Vinnie.

Advantage: Kubiak

Lucy Diamond Dawson vs. Thomas J. Sennett

Lucy Diamond Dawson is wise beyond her years. She has to be. As the young daughter of I Am Sam, she's the decision-maker in the family. She makes sure her dad stays out of trouble and doesn't feed her cake frosting for breakfast. She's a lot like Katniss Everdeen in this way.

Likewise, My Girl's Thomas J. Sennett can easily be compared to Peeta Mellark. He's shy and unpopular, but thoughtful and caring. However, he's allergic to bee stings. I can see him having big trouble when Tracker Jackers are introduced into the game.

Advantage: Lucy Diamond Dawson

Peter Costa vs. Webster Long

The Cosby Show's Peter Costa isn't really known for his bravery. Time and time again, he flees to safety at the first sign of trouble. Webster Long, however, is a survivor. His dimunitive size could be a problem but given his experience with utilizing secret passageways, he can easily level the scales.

Advantage: Webster Long

Jessica & Susie Martin vs. Ben Sandwich

The younger brother to Bread Sandwich, Ben Sandwich is the alternate version of Ben Savage in the Boy Meets World universe. He's arrogant and mean. Sounds like a Career Tribute to me.

Given his size, strength, and viciousness, it would take an alliance to bring him down. And who's tighter than How The West Was Fun's Martin sisters? They finish each others sentences and are pretty good with weapons. However, that bond could also be their weakness if they aren't tempered to go on without one another. But with a little work on their weapons-handling, they can cut this Sandwich in half.

Advantage: Jessica & Susie Martin

Harriet Brindle vs. Baby Bink

Naturally, an eleven-year old girl has what it takes to overpower and murder a young baby. But Baby Bink is no ordinary baby. The kid is absolutely fearless and as demonstrated in Baby's Day Out, damn near invincible. Through sheer luck, he was able to not only outwit and defeat three adult male kidnappers, but also survive the perils of an active construction site. The arena should pose no problems for him.

Small Wonder's Harriet Brindle would need to rely on her advanced sneakiness if she wanted to fair well. Even then, it comes down to Bink's luck. Will it run out? The kid's got a guardian angel watching over him. I should also note he has a pretty good mentor as well. Head of the Class's Arvid, winner of the 13th Child Star Hunger Games.

Advantage: Baby Bink

Steve Urkel vs. Screech

This really comes down to who would win in a battle to the death between a dweeb and a nerd? Both are gangly, awkward, uncoordinated, and clumsy. In fact, it would probably be sad to watch them fight one another. My thinking is that Steve Urkel would prove more deadly due to his scientific knowledge but there are several x factors at play here. Does he have the right equipment? If so, does he have what it takes to be stealthy enough to build a specialized weapon?

I'm not so quick to rule out Screech here either. Especially if Slater taught him a few wrestling moves.

Advantage: Inconclusive

Brenda Walsh vs. Ray Boyd

Make no bones about it. Brenda Walsh is a mean customer. But Ray Boyd's strength is his disarming attractiveness. Plus, the kid's got an arm.

Advantage: Ray Boyd

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