In The Raven, Edgar Allan Poe squares off against a serial killer the likes of which the world had never seen. The shadowy figure bases his murders upon Poe's works of fiction, eventually pulling Poe into the investigation for a game of cat and mouse. Thankfully for the world (and Dean R. Koontz), this killer didn't actually exist. The same goes for the killers listed below. Had they been around taking lives, the world would be a far more twisted place.

George Harvey - The Lovely Bones

George Harvey works as a particularly scary serial killer because he seems like he could be real. The wolf who hides in sheep's clothing, always one step ahead of his victims and authorities. He hides in plain sight as an affable dollhouse maker and confirmed bachelor. Really, the last guy you'd ever expect to have a hollowed out rape den beneath the local cornfield.

Patrick Bateman - American Psycho

This Harvard grad has it all. A successful Wall Street career, good looks, an apartment next to Tom Cruise, and stellar taste in music. He's also absolutely insane and kills prostitutes, homeless people, and Jared Leto for sport. He's the last person you'd expect to be capable of killing strangers with power tools, and he has the resources to cover up his unspeakable crimes. He's easily the most dangerous 1980's douche bag. And, yes, I'm factoring in Johnny Lawrence from The Karate Kid.

Stuntman Mike - Death Proof

I pray to God every night that Death Proof's Stuntman Mike doesn't actually exist. Sure, the State of Texas boasts an abundance of gorgeous young women, but that doesn't mean that a twisted gear head is free to go about killing them as he pleases. There's not an endless supply. No one appreciates your vehicle-based babe slaying, Mike.

Jigsaw - Saw Films

Saw's mastermind killer Jigsaw's M.O. is to kidnap people he feels aren't deserving of life. He then places them in situations where they need to choose between life or death through extreme actions. In most cases, it's already too late for them and their efforts to escape lead to their death. Those he deems unworthy usually incur his wrath by drinking, doing drugs, gambling, or cheating on their wives. They should call him the Buzzkill Killer.

Ghostface - Scream Films

The scariest thing about Scream's Ghostface is that he or she could be anyone or anywhere at any time. Ghostface is also particularly brutal with his grisly slayings. Plus, his only known weakness is David Arquette, and having to hang out with him is a pretty steep cost.

Buffalo Bill - The Silence of the Lambs

I know I'm in the clear, but I'm still thankful that Buffalo Bill, aka Jame Gumb, does not exist (and definitely does not approve my invoices). The sadistic killer victimizes women and wears their skin so that he can pass himself off for female. Much like Jamie Lee Curtis.

Frank Drebin The Naked Gun Films

Not really a serial killer in the traditional sense, but Frank Drebin's shoot first, ask questions later approach has certainly racked up a pile of bodies. That and his clumsiness. And his driving. The man is a one-force wrecking team and doesn't even realize it.

John Doe - Se7en

Se7en's genius killer bases his kills upon each of the Capitol Vices. That's right. Each of his victims is guilty of committing the Seven Deadly Sins (wrath, greed, sloth, pride, lust, envy, and gluttony) and dispatched accordingly. I'm glad he's not real because I'd be so screwed. I once ordered delivery from the Chinese place across the street from my apartment because I was too busy looking at porn.

Hannibal Lecter - The Silence of the Lambs

When you think movie serial killers, you have to include Dr. Hannibal Lecter. Anthony Hopkin's chilling portrayal of the high society cannibal has solidified him as the most calculating and memorable killer in screen history. It's a good thing the character wasn't based off a real-life killer. After five film appearances, that dude would be hella rich from royalties. Still, I'd rather pay a killer royalties for his life story than pay the Kardashians to appear at a party in Vegas.

The Bone Collector - The Bone Collector

Of all the killers on this list, I'm most fearful of the Bone Collector. How can the killer from a so-so psychological thriller steal the top honors from Hannibal Lecter? Because of his methods. He poses as a taxi driver and kills off his passengers. That could totally happen to me. I'm in taxis all of the time. It's either that or walk... with my legs!