We all have friends that are plagued by horrible relationships with wives, husbands, girlfriends, and boyfriends. Both girls and guys alike can get the life sucked out of them by significant others that are selfish, mean, or even just misguided. Such relationships can seriously hamper a friendship between two people, and in a well-made movie, those toxic relationships can jump off the screen to affect the audience.
Below are some fine films (except for maybe Saving Silverman) that demonstrate how the fairer sex can sometimes be totally unfair.
She’s a succubus, pure and simple. Imagine your dream girl. She could very well look like Sharon Stone. Then give her a crippling coke and pill habit. Then see to it that she bangs out your best friend, who happens to be Joe Pesci (Hey! You’re friends with Joe Pesci!) and also regularly grinds on her ex, a pimp named Lester.
I’m not done yet.
Then she ties your child to the bed so she can go out drinking. Then she tries to hightail it with James Woods (Lester) with all your money.
Is she still your dream girl? No. She’s your nightmare girl. A few months later you find out that she collapsed in a motel room hallway and died.
You’re smiling right now, aren’t you?
No brainer. The character Mann played was the very definition of shrill. Not only was she bitchy to her husband, Paul Rudd’s character, but to Ben, Seth Rogen’s character, and even the doorman at the nightclub, played by Craig Robinson. Who can be mean to Craig Robinson? That’s insane. Her character was so abrasive that it caused Katherine Heigl to speak out against director Judd Apatow for vilifying women.
The final straw comes when she attempts to kick the schlubby Rogen out of the delivery room, only to have him blow up at her and kick her out. When he does this, she finally gains respect for him, which is endearing, but also means that she knows how awful she actually is, making her more awful.
Paul Rudd could do a lot better.
She essentially exists as the impetus for Jack Black to start schooling the kids in rock, so it’s natural that she would be written as a stone-cold B to her boyfriend. Sure, Silverman plays the sweet crass thing well, but when she turns it on, she can be a snippy as she is funny. This is what happens when sweet girls use their powers for evil instead of good.
Well, he was there for her when her she was being abused in her house, he saved her from near-suicide in the disco era, and he cared for her while she was dying of AIDS. What did she do for him? She slept with him then popped in and out of his life as she saw fit, taking his help, then running away to go bang whatever stereotype of the era was around (hippie, clubrat, whatever).
Forrest may not be a smart man, but he does know what love is. Which is more than we can say for Jenny. Even when she shows up with Haley Joel Osment, it’s too little, too late. My baby mama’s have the decency to tell me that I’m the father while they’re still carrying. It’s common courtesy, and we’re losing it in this age of The Twitter and Friendster.
Sure, she’s a character crafted to be over-the-top ridiculous so we don’t feel bad when Ed Helm’s Stu strays from his vows and bangs out Heather Graham’s stripper, but you know what? It works?
Her disdain for everything that’s not about her is palpable. Just thinking of it makes me want to roger Heather Graham right now.
The title of this goes beyond the millennial convention of simply slapping a title of (blank)ing (blank) onto a film and watching the money roll in. Silverman’s best friends, played by Steve Zahn and Jack Black really are trying to save him. So I guess technically, it could be said that Jack Black is a savior. It needn’t be, but it could.
Peet’s character is pretty much awful from the moment we see her, but Jason Bigg’s protagonist is willing to look past all that cause she’s pretty hot. That’s something we can all forgive. The fact that she keeps thwarting the bumbling, well-intentioned friends just fans our fury. Steve Zahn doesn’t deserve to be treated that way.
While most entrants on this list are unspeakably cruel at worst and painfully grating at best, Catherine O’Hara’s Cookie Fleck is just unspeakably misguided. Well, that and it sounds like she used to be a ginormous slut with most everyone in the incestuous world of international dog shows. Who knew that they were having so much sex?
However, it’s easy enough to hide a promiscuous past, but Cookie seems to throw it in the face of her husband, played by a patient, but at-the-end-of-his-rope Eugene Levy. He dismisses the allegations playfully, claiming that she has had “dozens of boyfriends,” but she quickly interrupts him to chime in, “Hundreds.”
Well, she no-shows on their wedding day. That’s sort of a red flag about character right there. Then she shows back up into Robbie’s life as though nothing ever happened, spouting empty apologies. That’s strike two.
When she first bails, she says she could never be with a guy “living in (his) sister’s basement with five kids while (he’s) off every weekend doing wedding gigs at a whoppin’ sixty bucks a pop?” Adam Sandler was completely right. That could have been brought to his attention yesterday. Before the wedding.