The New ‘Celebrity Apprentice’ Cast: Who Would I Eat First To Stay Alive?

Thursday, January 5 by

Arsenio Hall

I don’t think I would enjoy eating Aresnio Hall that much. Like quail or stone crab, I feel like you would have to put in a lot of effort for just a few scraps of meat. As stated above, I would mix him in with ground Penn meat and make some sliders with a pepper aioli. If, for some reason, pepper aioli wasn’t available after the plane crash, I would probably force Clay Aiken to eat him, all the while heckling him.

Adam Carolla

I’d like to think that I could hold out on Carolla this long, but truth be told, I would probably get sick of his voice and eat him sooner.

Lisa Lampanelli

Lampanelli may be ugly as sin. Scratch that. Lampanelli is ugly as sin, but she’s probably rocking some of the most marbled, succulent meat of the bunch. She would be my last big entrée before I started tying up loose ends by finishing off the leftovers and diving into the smaller, bonier women.

Do you like this story?