The Most Evil Businesses In Movie History

Tuesday, August 23 by

3. Mondo Burger – Good Burger

They were going to drive Good Burger out of business with their giant hamburgers! And when Good Burger finally had a leg to stand on due to Ed’s invention of a delicious secret sauce, they tried several times to steal that! Comparisons to Hitler are thrown around a lot these days, but, make no mistake. These guys make Hitler look like Tim Allen (what?).

When Mondo Burger wasn’t able to obtain the burger through clandestine methods, they even bribed Ed, then hired Carmen Elektra to seduce him.  Not cool, Mondo Burger. Further, Mondo Burger is later found to have been dosing their hamburgers with Triampathol. No one knows what Triampathol is, but I’m very comfortable getting outraged at the chemical-ly sounding name.

Shame on you, Mondo Burger. Shame on your eyes.

2. Bendini, Lambert, and Locke – The Firm

This crooked mafia law firm would be much higher on this list, if it wasn’t for the bitchin’ reception that they throw for Tom Cruise in the early scenes of the film. That party had ribs, cornbread, an open bar, and a jazz band, all on top of a tall building in downtown Memphis. I’d be willing to turn a blind eye to the murder of several coworkers if that was a regular occurrence.

However, what I couldn’t turn a blind eye to is a corporation that repeatedly sends a surly, gruff Wilford Brimley to blackmail and coerce me. That’s just a shitty corporate culture.

But, again, they did set Tom Cruise up with a hot girl to bang on the beach.

But then they photographed it and used the pictures to blackmail him.

But they also paid off his student loans and bought him a Mercedes.

This is either the best company to work for, or the worst. I can’t decide.

1. Zalinsky Auto Parts – Tommy Boy

Sure, Ray Zalinsky talks a good game, getting before the cameras and insisting that he “makes car parts for the American working man” because that’s who he is, and that’s who he cares about.

LIES.

If Ray Zalinsky really cared about about the working man, he wouldn’t have shut down the factory in Sandusky. He’s an opportunist that profits off of the death of Tom Sr.  Zalinsky lays it on Tommy by volunteering, “Truth is, I make car parts for the American working man because I’m a hell of a salesman and he doesn’t know any better.”

Friend of the working man my ass!