The ‘Kindergarten Cop’ Kids: Where They Be At Now?

Friday, January 6 by
What are these kids up to? 

While recently day-dreaming about what it would be like if Kindergarten Cop’s Detective John Kimble was to battle the demon from Paranormal Activity, I got to wondering what ever happened to the film’s young cast. This was the big break for many of them, who must have been five or six at the time of filming. These child stars of the ’90′s were discovered on the set, and some went on to memorable turns in television and film. But most have seemingly vanished.

The common plight of the child star is a life marred by drugs and alcohol, so I went into this fearing the worst. For instance, what became of the little boy who described penises and vaginas? You’d think porn, right? Or the It-Might-Be-A-Tumor Kid. Is he in some back alley giving unlicensed medical diagnoses? Lord, I hope not.

But actually, I was happily surprised to find that very few are messed up, and the ones that are don’t seem to be in a dark place. I couldn’t find a liquor store robbery amongst the bunch. They must have learned from Edward Furlong’s mistakes.

At any rate, I scoured the Internet to find out more about these little kids. It’s cool though. They’re all legal now. Check it out.

Miko Hughes as Joseph

Miko Hughes is probably the most memorable kid from Kindergarten Cop given his proclamation that boys have penises and girls have vaginas (smart kid). He’s also well remembered for his roles in Pet Sematary, Full House, New Nightmare, Mercury Rising, and Apollo 13. He still acts, but also works as a DJ at night under the name D.J. Cubed.

Also, somebody who is not me went through the effort to make this:

It’s glorious.

Jason Reitman as Kissing Kid

Young Adult director Jason Reitman‘s dad threw him a bone when it came time for a cameo role. A creepy, creepy bone. During a scene toward the end of the film, Arnold is searching the school for Dominic in order to keep him safe from Crisp. What he stumbles upon are two middle-schoolers making out. This was actually Jason’s first kiss.

“The worst part was getting directions from my dad,” recalls Jason. Hey! That man also directed the kissing in Six Days Seven Nights. Show some damn respect.