There’s so many things going on here that intimidate me, but let’s focus on the moustache. The year is AD 2293 and the world is lorded over by a floating stone head. But it’s good to see that intimidating facial hair hasn’t fallen out of fashion. Sean Connery plays Zed, an Exterminator that dares to challenge and seduce the gods and show them that the penis is not evil.
The Undisputed Heavyweight Champion of the World isn’t going to mess around with non-intimidating facial hair. He keeps his guard up and the moustache is a part of that. Should a punch manage to slip through his defenses, his upper-lip is shielded by the coarse, fuzz armor beneath his nose. Lesser gladiators have shattered their entire forearm bones by striking it.
Baseball isn’t a simple game. It’s an intimidating dance between pitcher and batter; a modern day death-match. If a batter can’t stare down the pitcher, they can’t get on base. There’s no player more intimidating than Major League’s Clu Haywood. The Yankees’ best hitter managed to get a piece of Wild Thing’s fastball. No doubt the moustache did the work for him.