The 9 Most Intimidating Movie Moustaches

Tuesday, October 18 by
It's so well-shaped and cocksure. It must be feared and respected. 

The moustache has played an important role throughout cinema history. In the early days of silent film, the facial hair was often used to brand a character as evil. Over time, moustaches found their way onto the faces of movie heroes such as Errol Flynn and Clark Gable. Today, they can still be found on a wide range of characters, but as in the early days, the stache is still used to add an aura of intimidation to characters.

I bet you’re wondering why the hell I’m going on and on about moustaches. Well I’ll tell you why, smart ass. We’re gearing up for Movember, and we’re encouraging our readers to do the same. The rules are easy: Go here and sign up with Break and Movember. Start November 1st clean shaven, then proceed to grow a killer Moustache, all while raising funds for men’s health. Last year, Movember raised $81 million for prostate research, and this year we plan on helping them break that record. So sign up today, and help make a difference.

Then, when you’re done with that, help make a difference in my paycheck by checking out the 9 most intimidating moustaches of all time.

Borat – Borat

Though Borat’s moustache may not be intimidating in the sense of manliness or machismo, I think you’ll find him quite intimidating when he comes at you with a plastic bag full of feces.

Ron Burgundy – Anchorman

Ron Burgundy is the number one local newscaster in 1970’s San Diego and he owes a lot of that to his mythical, Scotch-scented moustache. In addition to “a voice that could make a wolverine purr and suits so fine they” make “Sinatra look like a hobo,” his moustache is also a powerful aphrodisiac. Hairs from his moustache brush are incredibly sought after to be used in love potions and fertility centers around the world. Everything look how good he looks!!

Peter Mitchell – Three Men and a Little Lady

Tom Selleck’s moustache is very different from the intimidators on this list. But that doesn’t mean you should rule it out. There is one category in which it dominates — the ladies. No woman is free to resist the course tufts upon Selleck’s upper-lip, and Nancy Travis’s Sylvia Bennington was no exception. Selleck’s moustache swooped in and stole her away from the altar just as she was about to marry a rich, stuffy but ultimately bald-faced British prick. It’s godly, really.

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