The 9 Greatest Makeshift Movie Weapons

Wednesday, October 19 by

6. Toaster – Suicide Kings

In a bit of a tangent from the A-plot of Suicide Kings, mob lieutenant Lono Veccio (played by Denis Leary) comes to the aid of a family acquaintance only to find that she is being beaten by her drunk stepfather. After laying out a pretty clear parable of how he one day fought back against his own father, Lono is disheartened to see that his story fell on deaf ears with the stepfather’s request to “send the little bitch back in here.” Lono wraps the cord around his hand and beats the stepdad to the brink of death before making his exit.

Apologies but the exact video wasn’t available to embed, but can be found right here.

5. Snake – Kill Bill

Unless you’re hiring a reputable hit man, relying on a living thing as a weapon is a pretty risky proposition. So finds out Daryl Hannah’s Elle Driver in Kill Bill Vol. 2. Initially, Elle puts a black mamba into a suitcase when buying The Bride’s sword from Budd. Budd is killed by the snake, but before Elle is able to get out of the trailer containing the snake, she is met by The Bride, who plucks out Elle’s remaining eye, then leaves her, writhing and screaming, waiting to be done in by the snake. Though we don’t see her die, we can assume it doesn’t end well for Elle.

4. Shoe – Austin Powers

The film’s Odd Job knock-off, Random Task, takes a cue from his Goldfinger counterpart, but rather than killing with his hat, he finds a more obtuse method, offing people with a shoe. Yup. A shoe.

And not very gracefully. He just sort of chucks it at them. It makes for high comedy, at least when compared to the hijinks of the actor who played Random Task. In September 2011, Joe Son was convicted of torture in the 1990 gang rape of a woman. He was sentenced to life in prison. Less than a month later, he is accused of killing his cellmate.

Wow. This entry ended on a down note.

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