The 7 Skankiest Hookers In Film and Television

Thursday, April 26 by

Three-Boobed Alien – Total Recall

On paper, I think this sounds like a fine idea, but in practice, it creeps into your mind like so much doubt, whispering “Everything you thought you knew about breasts is wrong.” So she’ll take you out of your comfort zone there, but that’s not where she stops. She also has no problem getting naked and fondled by mutant cabbies in broad daylight. If that’s not the definition of “skanky,” I don’t know what is.

Seriously. The mutant-cabbie-groping thing is skanky as hell.

Joe Buck – Midnight Cowboy

I just have to assume that male hookers are way more skanky than the average female counterpart. Is that sexist? Yeah, probably. But like Rob Schneider, Jon Voight just cannot occupy the part of my mind that recognizes human sexuality.

Further, Joe Buck wasn’t a guy that moved to New York to make it big, then became a hustler. He moved across the country because he was dying to be a hooker. Joe Buck should have known that there’s not much of a market for gigolos that look like Jon Voight.

And as a result, Dustin Hoffman died. Nice work, Joe Buck.

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