The 7 Skankiest Hookers In Film and Television

Thursday, April 26 by

Deuce Bigalow – Deuce Bigalow: Male Gigolo

It’s a hooker that’s also Rob Schneider. Do you need a road map? Also, judging from his first handful of encounters, I can’t imagine that he’s disease-free. Plus, he worked cleaning aquariums before he was a hooker. My guess is that Deuce is a petri dish of microbiotic life. Gross.

Marion – Requiem for a Dream

Jennifer Connelly is one of the most striking women in Hollywood. But when you witness what her character Marion has to endure as a reluctant hooker, all in the name of heroin, she loses all of her appeal right away. She’s a junkie dating Jared Leto. Yuck. I don’t know which aspect of that sentence is the most repulsive, but that doesn’t matter. Avoid this Marion chick at all costs.

And if you are inclined to visit one of the sex shows that she’s in, take a pass. You’d just be feeding her addiction.

Aileen Wuornos – Monster

Now this one…this one is just physically gross. Also, she killed the men that picked her up, but mostly she just looks like an anthropomorphic pimple. It got Charlize Theron an Oscar, but that does nothing for the libidos of American audiences. I would hazard a guess that Aileen’s rates for companionship weren’t all that high.

The cruel irony is that after she found herself on death row, she would have enjoyed astronomical earnings, as men would pay a hefty premium to sleep with a woman who is sentenced to death. The only reason I have for saying that is that I would pay a hefty premium to sleep with a woman on death row. It’s my darkest fantasy. And if that means she has to look like Aileen Wuornos for it to happen, so be it.

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