Hookers are, thankfully, back in the news again after the men tasked with protecting the life of the President of the United States have been accused of consorting with and hiring Colombian prostitutes. While Colombian women certainly raise the bar for beauty, I’m guessing that Colombian hookers probably raise the bar for some other, less-desirable attributes, even by hooker standards.
This whole Secret Service fiasco got me thinking about the grossest hookers depicted in film. Granted, the hookers (both men and women) can still be attractive, but something about them goes above and beyond regular hooker-ish grossness into a new level. Read on and you’ll see what I’m talking about.
Vivian winds up looking a lot like Julia Roberts towards the end of the film. However, the silver wig, slutty dress, and boots in the front half don’t do much to endear me to her. In fact, she’s a very stereotypical hooker, and stereotypical hookers are gross. It looks as though some light plastic surgery and micro dermabrasion were needed to get to where she ended up.
Unfortunately, you can’t put makeup on cold sores. Well, you can, but it won’t hide them.
Say what you want about the resident Albuquerque whore in Breaking Bad, but at least she owns her title. She’s a crack whore (or a meth whore) in every sense of the word. She brings virtual no sexuality to her job, which is probably what allows her to be so prolific at it. She’s the anti-Pretty Woman. She’s Ugly Woman, and she’s never going to fall in love with a “client.” Rather, if you tried to kiss her, she wouldn’t tell you about her no kissing rule. She’d probably just clock you in the teeth with a bottle.