The 6 Most Grotesque Zombie Deaths

Saturday, May 11 by Frost

Zombies

The undead genre would’ve lasted four months if they were able to spread their disease by hugging. Luckily for the wallets of many, zombies tend to be worse biters than that kid you went to day care with so for the sake of catharsis here are the six most grotesque zombie deaths.

Clown, “Zombieland”

Zombieland

Anyone who jumps with joy at the sight of a clown has a terrible kink in their DNA for clowns are to be feared. Of course human on clown crime is illegal as it should be, but “Zombieland” allows everyone to feel the visceral pleasure of destroying a zombie clown with a giant mallet without guilt. Sure it’s not the goriest but if your eyes didn’t gleam like a kid at Christmas when you first saw that creature and hoped for a battle then you lost your humanity around the same time you went vegan to be cool.

Shelly, “Evil Dead”

Evil Dead

Definitely not a poster child for vacationing in the country, “Evil Dead” slathers on the gore as five friends visit a very rurally located cabin for some downtime. Unfortunately for the group, their little spot is overrun with demons including a “Demons for Dummies” incantation on tape that, once played, lets a little more evil out until there’s a solid chance that everyone is going to end up a member of the undead. Shelly’s death at the hands of Scott is one of the more gruesome zombie deaths as it covers every body fluid in the book from natural to supernatural as well as featuring a little self-cannibalism and some good old firewood chopping talents.

Luda’s baby, “Dawn of the Dead”

Dawn of the Dead

The remake that sets the bar for all remakes to come, “Dawn of the Dead” is a horrifying film that doesn’t pretend that every stranger becomes a well-meaning buddy when the apocalypse comes hammering down on the Earth. Having pulled a disappearing act, the expecting couple of the group stranded in a mall gets their secret discovered by a gun toting Norma, who trades bullet for bullet with the father thus bringing the rest of the group running. Thankfully Luda’s baby’s demise is off-camera but it still sticks in your mind as the worst possible zombie death you could ever imagine.

Backyard Large guy, “Shaun of the Dead”

Shaun of the Dead

Under the auspices of a buddy-buddy flick, “Shaun of the Dead” tackles stalled adulthood, stepparent resentment issues and the friggin’ zombie apocalypse in under two hours. By far there are some gorier deaths in this film like David’s in the pub but the worst most grotesque death has to be being killed by bad 80's albums on vinyl. Presumably a shotgun blast to your head doesn’t give you a lot of time to ponder your life but having a record thunked into your head gives you plenty of time to consider your bad decisions before you get finished off with more records and a cricket bat.

Frank, “28 Days Later”

28 Days Later

Besides waking up in a ball pit or a S&M dungeon, coming to in an empty hospital has to rank at #1 for "worst places to begin your headlong run into an apocalyptic world." Unfortunately for Jim that’s exactly where he comes back to consciousness and starts his new struggle to survive. In “28 Days Later” the most grievous death is that of Frank who had come so far in the protection and care of his daughter only to lose it through random happenstance and his ability to look upwards.

Nazi soldier, “Dead Snow”

Dead Snow

Not even the most bleeding heart lover of all things on this planet would shed a tear when it comes to killing zombies of the Nazi persuasion. Seriously, Nazi zombies are more guilt free than vegan bacon made from free range soy, recycled tires and sawdust from fake office plants that is cooked using solar power focused through an icicle stored in a naturally formed root cellar that bears hibernate in: in other words it’s an underhand pitch from your mom who still loves you no matter what Vegard’s destruction of a zombie using the treads of his snowmobile takes the cake for both grotesque zombie death and Nazi ending justice.