The 6 Most Depressing Future Earth Movies

Wednesday, August 15 by Frost

Earth go boom

Utopian movies are like pixie sticks in that eventually you’ll crack from the happy feelings and start smearing lipstick all over your face while singing Norwegian death metal. To prevent that here are 6 of the most depressing future Earth movies. Take the smile off a clown’s face as you cuddle up to some sad fictional guesswork on the world of tomorrow.

 

“Children of Men”.

Children of Men

The Earth in “Children of Men” is one of an aging population where violence, zealotry, and lawlessness has made the only still recognizable government of the United Kingdom a destination for those seeking protection and peace. Enter the first pregnant woman in decades and conspiracies and general jackassery abound as one man shoulders the burden to get this woman to safety. The stink of desperation and faltering hope are tangible as Theo and Kee enter into the refugee camp at Brexhill, creating a sense of impending doom for humanity.

 

“Sunshine”.

Sunshine

What’s more depressing for the future of Earth than having to send a spaceship bomb built from half of the remaining resources into the sun? Missing that giant ball of light and having to use the last half to build spaceship bomb numero dos. Earth is about to go into permanent hibernation unless the sun gets a reboot, and luckily for everyone the ship on that mission is loaded with a crew that wouldn’t pass a Cosmo magazine psychological background check. Turn off the film the second that Pinbacker makes a surprising return and you’ll have a fun, gloomy with a slight chance of hope movie, go past it at your own peril.

 

“Waterworld”.

Waterworld

Once you get past that initial thought, the Earth plus more water would make one big vacation world with far more sushi places, you realize that this future Earth is just really, really…damp. “Waterworld” is a grimy, environmental tale where webbed feet and gills are a bonus mutation and jet-skiing villains probably feel just as embarrassed as you do for them. Should you make it through without thinking you need to recycle more and maybe plant a hundred trees, just watch the bungee cord scene because no one wants a future where that happens.

 

“Daybreakers”.

Daybreakers

A world ran by vampires where humans are the typical juice boxes sounds terrifying and exciting. “Daybreakers” manages to dull that scenario up by making humans into nothing more than MREs and the vampires into corporate entities that somehow find a way to be flatter than two-dimensional characters. Humans will fight off aliens; go toe to toe with zombies but apparently they’re weak to corporate beaucracy and yawn-inspiring bloodsuckers. There isn’t one really good maniacal laugh or cloak-wearing vampire and the scene where Willem Dafoe’s vampirism is cured has the feel that someone let the kids at a toddler day care write it.

 

“Pandorum”.

Pandorum

It’s hard to feel worse about the Earth of tomorrow than when it goes boom. Not that the Earth was all that great when the crew of the “Pandorum” just for a chance on another planet down the road a ways but at least when they went to sleep the Earth was still in one piece. Alex, a technician, wakes up on a dying ship and finds himself in the company of colleagues that should be allies but might be enemies, and that’s not even mentioning the space cannibals. The reveal scene with the breaking glass is one of the better science fiction twists in a long time.

 

“Resident Evil: Extinction”.

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	All the Alice clones in the world can’t make up for a world where humanity is on the endangered species list thanks to a virus by the Umbrella corporation. Alice leads one small group on their journey as they strive to find a safe place to live, relatively zombie free. The Umbrella board scene in Tokyo just goes to show you that sometimes the corporation is the <span data-scayt_word=true immortal beast, making a definitive sad future for humanity.

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