The 6 Least Threatening Movie Henchemen Of All Time

Saturday, March 10 by Stu Moody

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Every good bad guy needs a good henchman. You know, someone to do his evil bidding while he enjoys the benefits of being totally evil. But good help can be hard to find, and sometimes the bad guys hire henchmen who aren't exactly menacing. Some henchmen throughout movie history have been a little questionable, and the six underlings on this list are about the least-threatening henchmen of all time!

Flying Monkeys, "Wizard of Oz"

 

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Monkeys, as far as evil henchman go, are pretty weak. If you're going to have flying animals, why not flying tigers or flying bears or something? Sure, monkeys can be dangerous, but they don't inspire fear the way other animals do. It's likely that the Wicked Witch was pressed for time when she came up with these guys. They may have done a little damage to the Scarecrow, but ultimately the monkeys didn't do a whole lot to save their master.


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Vigo, the Scourge of Carpathia and Moldavia, chose Peter MacNicol to be his evil henchman? Peter is pretty wimpy to begin with, but when he adopted an Eastern European accent and played the role of an art gallery owner, his wimpiness only intensified. How anyone was scared of this guy, even with his evil Vigo powers, is beyond reasonable comprehension. Can you imagine him hanging out with other evil demons? They'd slap him upside the head and tell him to keep his mouth shut.

Associate Bob, "Demolition Man"

 

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In a supposedly utopian future, there seems to be little need for big, tough, evil dudes. But still, that doesn't fully explain why the leader of this new world, Dr. Cocteau, chose a guy named Associate Bob to be his number two man. Even if the guy had been a hulking beast, with a name like Associate Bob, he'd still have no chance of threatening anyone. Unfortunately, he was also fat, weak and sort of effeminate, further lowering his rank on the henchman ladder.

Nick Nack, "The Man With The Golden Gun"

 

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How scary is a guy who barely stands knee-high? He may startle you when you bump into him, and it's possible that he could some serious damage to your shins in a fight, but beyond that, he's not going to inspire much fear. Fighting little Nick Nack in "The Man With The Golden Gun" would sort of be like doing battle with a Cabbage Patch Kid. Just pitch this dude through the nearest window, and that's the end of the fight.

Toad, "X-Men"

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Ray Park was totally cool as Darth Maul. As Toad in the first "X-Men" movie, he was decidedly less cool. Toad was a pretty weak villain to begin with, but the big screen version of the character didn't do him any favors. He just looked like a dirty guy who could jump really high and stuff. Plus, his demise and the cheesy one-liner from Storm that accompanied it, was really weak. But then, perhaps it was a fitting end to such a lame character. Fans haven't exactly been clamoring for his return in the new franchise.

 

Iago, "Aladdin"

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	OK, so <a href=Jafar is a powerful sorcerer and he has a staff that can hypnotize people into doing his bidding. Why, then, does he rely on a bird to carry out so much of his work? The bird might be useful sometimes, but sometimes you need a big dude who you can count on the destroy stuff with his muscles. Why not one of those palace guards? "Aladdin" is crawling with huge guards, so why wouldn't Jafar hypnotize one of them? It'd be better than Iago, because that little parrot isn't threatening anyone.

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