Once humanity and your more cunning river otters reached the Bronze age, the villainous home-base got any upgrade from dank caves to headquarters with running water and electricity. Taking architecture to the next level, the five greatest evil lairs in movie and TV history show off the best in contemporary
A Circus, “The Cape”
The Carnival of Crime utilizes a traveling circus as a front for their band of talented thieves, which makes for some great looking scenes as well as interesting criminal gadgetry. Granted naming yourself the Carnival of Crime might just give any detective with enough intelligence to read books without pictures a solid clue on where to at least start searching for a gang of burglars but that doesn’t affect the cool look of this gang in “The Cape.” You could ignore the great feel of the thieves’ hideout, but you can’t possibly feel nothing for how great a lair is that actually has an ice cream truck van for bank getaways as seen in the pilot episode.
Wolfram and Hart Law Offices, “Angel”
Wolfram and Hart go far past the old cliché of evil, bloodthirsty lawyers from the figurative to the literal as they work not just to pad their billable hours but to ensure that the apocalypse stays on track. The lush offices maintain the kind of decorum one would expect from a high profile law firm but with security that features vampire detectors as well as guards that carry telescoping wooden stakes, this office is that perfect visual dressing for the deepest and darkest evils around. Check out the Wolfram and Hart way of discovering spies using mind readers to check into their employees after a break-in during “Blind Date,” thus showing just how capable and well-stocked this headquarters is for any villainous action.
Tearjerker’s Island, “American Dad”
Can you really have a legitimate evil lair without an island being involved? Tearjerker hits the holy trifecta with his lair as not only does he have a trap door for employee/hero disposal but it leads to a slide into a “drowning” pool made out of glass for evil viewing enjoyment. If you’re still not sold just watch the tour boat that Tearjerker has for his island and wallow in the little touches that make for a great evil lair.
The Gem Saloon, “Deadwood”
Prostitution, literal and figurative backstabbing, murder and its often symbiote mayhem all exist within Al Swearengen’s Gem Saloon in “Deadwood.” If you squint just right, you can almost see the lines of the encompassing spider web Al has spun as it keeps the population in “Deadwood” subtly attached to this master manipulator. With plenty of ways to legally and illegally fleece the town’s inhabitants of their money as well as having plenty of room for parking and body disposing, The Gem Saloon is a smelly, dirty, perfect evil lair in the history of television and film. Watch Swearengen beat then slit the throat of Mr. Hearst’s associate and you’ll gain the understanding that Al is as much the lair as the lair reflects himself.
B.P.R.D. Headquarters, “Hellboy”
What better place for one of the greatest evil lairs than the actual good guys’ place of business? Firs, they have a bunch of serious weaponry laying around as well as supernatural relics, artifacts and books that help prove the adage that knowledge is power. Second, once you wipe the floor with the good guys you won’t have to worry about constantly overspending on your interior design budget since they won’t be around to kick holes in the sheetrock or pull down the zebra print drapes you inherited from great-Grammy. Last but not least, running under the cover of a sanitation department will keep all but the most suspicious of people the heck away because who in their right mind would suspect the garbage men and women of hiding a villainous purpose behind their hardworking exteriors. All in all, the B.P.R.D. headquarters is the place to let your evil freak flag fly high.